PopHappens

I'm the great white hope, I'm the new blue blood

2008-11-04T10:06:00.002-05:00

I'm Mr. November

Anything less than a full-throated junkie endorsement on this day would be a disappointment. Use blogging powers for good not evil said the wise addict (thought i would say obi-wan didn't you? he's got other things on his hands right now, probably poop).

So here I am, abusing the bully pulpit, perhaps a bit belatedly for the east coasters, betraying my west coast bias - and firm belief that i have number 1 fan and few others.

Speaking of bias, here's what it isn't: when one guy is better than the other guy he's going to get better coverage. if one guy's campaign nearly runs aground once during the primary after squandering front-runner status and then blows a huge headstart in the general race and can't raise money from his $250K+ earning base of non-plumbers and picks an incompetent plain old stupid running mate in a calculating but poorly thought out gambit to win votes then fuck yes he's going to get more negative coverage. rightfully so. if that's media bias - i'm looking at you howard fine and you douglas mackinnon - you're a fucking idiot. perhaps there's some accentuation of these fine points out there, and certainly no shortage of opinions, but there's some truth to the perspective that if you're right, you're going to get better coverage. deal with it you drill-happy, race-baiting, rich-guy coddling, BoR eroding gop'ers.

I like the smarter guy, the thoughtful guy, the more considered foreign policy and I'd like to have fewer sick kids and uninsured.

There you go.

Vote Obama

What's gonna happen to you, Superfan?

2008-10-29T03:02:00.012-04:00

You run into the night
No sound, no vision, no sight
And no words to explain
just smell times of change

And your shitty pot.

Whether the genre is emo or shoegaze, you can always count on the random creepy dude playing grab-ass, the fratastic lug nut shouting “more cowbell”, or the mother of all jack-asses, Mr. Fist Pump White Guy. What makes him so special? Three sheets to the wind, he gets to stand in front of me, fondle his bleached girlfriend, and receive the obligatory tongue-lashing from the buddy cum moral compass. It’s the same crappy script.

I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with Superfans over the years too. I would throw you a quality link to Bill Swerski's sketch right now but due to suspected (lack of) readership, a simple Da Bearrs will have to suffice. Plus, there’s been undue pub on the first pump this year, culminating in Obama’s ‘terrorist fist jab’, so I’ll let Fox News get the last despicable word on this one.

On to the Plants and Animals junket.

These tracks have stuck with me for weeks now. I’ve passed much of the summer subway slogs digging their once curious, but now genius, analog recording choice. This homespun, folksy quality played well live, as the three former instrumentalists mixed choral vocals and polyrhythmic percussion to create a lush, epic sound. You can't fault the innocent observation that these guys jam. It’s inevitable when you crank 7-minute songs that bend effortlessly between soft ballads and soaring anthems. But they never lose me. Finer touches like the cool auto harp did not go unnoticed, as singer Warren (doing his best tomato) playfully urged the lithe Nicolas to rock out on it. A nice autumnal night indeed.

It would have worked in my living room or…

What's the blogosphere etiquette on referencing previous posts? At the risk of PopHappens folding onto itself, I shamelessly reference the last visit to Mercury Lounge. I can say with some conviction that these guys won’t be peddling their sounds in my living room for long.

And Born Ruffians played too. I never was going to give them a fair shake. We’ll cross paths again if they stay relevant and I stay engaged.

The synchronized presidential debating is amusing and frightening.

After all, your hair is your head suit

2008-10-26T21:35:00.005-04:00

There’s so much love for 30 Rock right now that I’d like to add something to the mélange.

The impending onslaught of high-profile personalities obscures Baldwin’s singular presence. I too have asked whether the show could work without him.

In a world where life often imitates art, he has an indelible way of delivering a line. No doubt missing most, and let’s be fair – he’s been in some miserable crap, but here are some I love:

The ass-patting, ear-rubbing urinal exchange in Polly – ‘I knew that girl was a slut the second I met her’
Golf balls at the range in Departed – ‘Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. Let’s people know you’re not a homo’
Curmudgeon Dunphy – ‘Making sex is like a Chinese dinner: It ain't over until you both get your cookies’
‘I am God’
Making the ridiculous sound sensible as the patriot Jack Ryan – ‘I know Ramius. He's nearly a legend in the submarine community’
Recovering drunk Dave in Heaven’s Prisoners – ‘Right now I'm thinking your head would make a real nice toilet brush’
Saying nothing for the ‘Price check, Uzi squirt gun’ in Miami Blues

Now if he wasn’t such a blowhard…

Rocks for jocks kids who got the whole mélange thing…15-year reunion is coming up.

This is the life we chose. The life we lead.

2008-10-25T18:51:00.018-04:00

Code blue on PopHappens? #1 Fan, say it ain’t so.

Shugo Tokumaru has helped me come to terms with how much I dig the terribly simple and underappreciated melodica. Clocca has some wonderful dissonance. Still love the Depeche Mode bridge in Everything Counts. And R.E.M.’s Find the River. Presence of that little free reed mutant bastard is highly correlated to my Top 25 Most Played list. Puking this performance stats deliverable for the man right now so everything is fitting into tight little matrices.

Some seriously stale and unoriginal show notes. R.E.M. at MSG delivered a solid, albeit workmanlike performance. Lot’s of political banter (didn’t need it), digital video (sorta liked it) and maudlin moments (loved it) rounded out a long set. Tourista had the pulse on Lifes Rich Pageant’s rediscovery. Bad Day was a highlight. Oh yeah, The National opened too. I have nothing interesting to say about them anymore except that I’m still crushing.

#2 Fan’s highlight no doubt was a rather pedestrian NYC tableau – holy shit, two people in fisticuffs over a cab. Things get interesting when one of them is the mercurial Roger Thornhill. Was sick of being jerked around.

Bloc Party swept through Webster Hall for two nights. Caught the first show. They always get me going. I’ll buzz on them when they come through again. And Wolf Parade at Terminal 5. Place sucks cuz of all the high school kids.

I expect some division on Synecdoche. I also expect derision for liking it. I can’t help being an elitist says Sarah Barracuda – translation, I like to be provoked every once in a while and I appreciate ambition, even if it’s not rewarded. I don’t think it will be in Kaufman’s case, and I hope he doesn’t care. Maybe people don’t like thinking about themselves.

I’ll be checking out Plants and Animals next week.

Fully converted to Obamamania. Early disciples step off – love strong women, and Hill’s health care program was better. Just sayin.

Alliteration is cheap but I use it all the time.

Happy b-days to all the October kids. C’mon Junkie, let’s give them something to talk about.

Watch him as he goes

2008-10-02T19:17:00.003-04:00

Wanted and desired are Lovers in Japan to Feed the Animals

2008-07-02T13:37:00.003-04:00

A Mad Libs Pop Culture Potpurri

No time, so I'll make it snappy

The New Yorker had it right, if you like your coffee made by having the beans vaporized mid-air in a hail of bullets and artfully landing in your cup piping hot, you will enjoy the WANTED. Also, if you have taken more than 2 Physics classes in college, you will not like it. But, if you have an appreciation for the thin-armed sexiness of Angelina Jolie you WILL like it. Also, non-Americans will like it more, especially those from Asia. I liked it and that's not just being a corporate schill.

Watched that HBO doc on Roman Polanski. He's a sick fuck, no? High tolerance for that when it comes alongside Rosemary's Baby and whatnot, but he really needed The Pianist to restore some cred, which it did. Champagne and 'ludes sounds like a nice party, although a bit dated, no?

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Backlog of sightings: from the WeHo Italian spots - Jeff Goldblum at Locanda Veneta with a pretty not too young thing in a corner table, Hollywood legend Warren Beatty at Madeo's.

NBA Finals at Staples had Disney Studio Chairman Dick Cook sure, but gobs more real celebs including Eliza Dushku, Flea, Pat O'Brien, Garry Marshall plus a few I'm forgetting. These are in-person encounters, not the TV ones.

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I'm not a hater of the Jesus of Uncool, but his in-your-face disarming self-deprecating charm offensive is something I reject. I can handle two or three of the new Coldplay tracks on their own including the east asian amorousness but sustained listening is unbearable without the aid of the skip forward button.

I wonder how Gwynnie feels now that her marital role model Madonna has bailed on her younger British artiste hubby. For the moment, Paltrow-Martin is a power couple by pop cult standards, running 2nd to Obamas-Winfrey in the overall race.

Above all else, and especially for our man addict, the new GirlTalk, Feed the Animals is something to behold, to cherish, to dance to, to take you back, to make you feel vital, to make you also question the whole art form and the meaning (or lack of) originality. A must-listen, a must-have, a must-own and if you are on the multitude of artists from the past 40 years of top 40 featured, perhaps a must-sue or cease and desist. Lawyers from Bubba Sparxx, Jay-Z, Procul Harum, the Beach Boys, Radiohead, Kelly Clarkson, Rick Springfield, MIA, Rod Stewart and Big Country would make for a great conference call.

Kaplan - ignore me again at your own peril. I've got the pulse.

ohmyfuckinggod

2008-05-06T12:28:00.003-04:00

Well, not quite New York Magazine cover gushing slurpy article good, but it was pretty good.

Delicious moments abound last night including the Zac Efron and Tom Cruise digs but none of them better than the strange bedfellows moment of Blair doing right by little gay gay Eric with an email forward to Gossip Girl. I had to say, I was cheering for Big B over little J.

On top of that, we also had the dramatic reveal of S's big secret. She sure has been acting strange lately with her old friend around. What's worse than sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend and your brother going on suicide watch that could drive you away from school? Taking our cues from the Travolta classic, The General's Daughter - "What's worse than murder?" - the only obvious conclusion was murder or rape. But rape felt a bit dubious for this context, perhaps it was something more along the ruination of lives. Alas, it was murder. But who the f are the Shepherds?

At least we learned an important parenting lesson - when your kid starts acting out, sneaking out, brazenly lying and mixing with the wrong crowd, best to let them host their own upper east side soiree with a gay trust fund kid and open bar to set up the most vicious kind of public humiliation so that she comes sulking back to Daddy and doesn't even need to be grounded. I've made a note of it.

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The Hills are having their moment right now. Lauren vs. Heidi > Serena vs. Georgina or Blair. Rolling Stone cover, White House Correspondents dinner, McCain endorsement, prime seats at the Derby, it's all happening.

The artifice of the show of course is revealed again in the Jason Gay RS piece, but that's not the point. The point is the heightened drama and faux reality still plays like good drama, it's gloriously well shot and lit (oh my the lighting, inspired by city shots of Michael Mann we now learn - how perfect and yet so totally inappropriate given the subject matter) and the show manages to make the most banal slights (Audrina is not a Mommy to the puppy!) into fired-up complaining to your friend drama (Lo is so mean sometimes!).

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Hayden Panetierre and family plus Milo Ventimiglia at Beso. Not too much is written about the creepy factor there although he's 30 and she's 18. I think it's because they are both short.

Andrei Kirilenko was also in the house, perhaps using his once a year free pass to fool around with LA's finest. Didn't really help on Sunday though, did it?

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That Tings Tings song is catchy

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Split decision won't help Barry tonight, but that's what he's facing. Perhaps he should propose a "day without war" special, it would save a lot of lives and offer a real short-term solution.

This is nothing like it was in my room

2008-05-02T14:11:00.004-04:00

Late to the party / Continuing the PH love affair / Delayed gratification / A good example of follower-ship

Call it what you will, but I got my National experience at Coachella last week and it was everything Kaplan said it would be even though it was outside, in the desert, at sundown rather than inside, in the city, at nighttime.

The girls fell in love with Matt over the course of the 50 minute set. The Boxer crowd seemed lost as he announced their last song, Mr. November, but this junkie cheered with such gleeful recognition and appreciation that even the snarky Pitchfork reviewer had to acknowledge it (they are snobs and seem like jerks you wouldn't want to have over at a dinner party, but they're up front about it and I dig that).

Other weekend highlights were slim - Hot Chip of course, the last 15 minutes of MGMT's otherwise uninspiring set, the feelgood vibes but slightly muddled sounds of Jens Lekman, and Erol Alkan as the Hot Chip opener all stood out. A dash of Cut Copy went down easy and Vampire Weekend did just fine outdoors on Friday aft.

I liked VHS or Beta, but they're the ultimate band to dislike with their indie Duran Duran sound. The Bravery of '07 if you will (although if you do, I'm not sure what that makes The Bravery now).

Raconteurs were tight, Prince was electrifying, but I thought Glamorous Life with Sheila E was probably the highlight. She's still go it. And so does he, at 50!

Disappointments from MIA (diva!), Black Lips (fuckshitass they overdid the partying) and The Verve - eh.

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Concert jones has me, but not sure what to hit next. May do small club shows to sample and work back in. Bloc Party returns this sumer.

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Celebs abound per usual - Indian TV players from Chuck and Heroes at the IFFLA festival a few weeks ago, lead guy from Aliens in America at Black Lips show, oh right, Denzel and Ice Cube at the Lakers regular season finale and shit, there are others, but I'm drawing blanks because it's been so so long

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Summer movies upon us. There's little that I'm truly excited about it. Sure, there's Indy, but it sounds kinda sucky, Iron Man is getting hype, but I think I'm getting too old for this shit. Plus, scary brown terrorist types rub me the wrong way. Although that was the single good joke in an otherwise exceedingly lame and stupid Harold and Kumar 2. Just awful, and I liked the first one! Sarah Marshall is worth seeing, more sweet than funny. I think Wanted is my top choice for the summer. Angelina Jolie slithering around trains and cars seems cool.

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The #1 fan would like to report that Whitney Port is skinny and not dead in the eyes like the rest of the Hills cast (esp. Audrina who I think might be brain-dead).

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I'm short on witty observations this AM. Let's try to make this a regular thing though, shall we? Perhaps the outspoken outrageous observational muscle memory will return if we do.

I have weird memories of you

2008-02-24T15:25:00.010-05:00

Caught The National last night in a fit of minor obsession. This was the first show for #2 Fan and I’m glad this was the one. The BAM opera house was the perfect venue for such an awkward by nature frontman and band. Overly self-conscious Brooklyn indie kids actually sat for three entire songs until Roger Thornhill asked the band whether we could stand. I think the presence of strings, reeds and horns against an upscale backdrop flummoxed said kids. The band played along and the crowd rose, a wonderful study in social dynamics to make Janis proud.

Matt did his best Win during Mr. November, standing on a seat three feet from us and almost falling onto #2’s head. Dude gets in the zone on that song but it's never overdone. Post-show dinner conversation questioned whether we ever reach that zone when we’re at the office. Songs like City Middle and Gospel worked in lush ways. Sufjan Stevens joined for Ada. Whatever, he’s a genius, I get it.

Four shows for Boxer and I think I’m finally satisfied.

In slightly stale music news, Band of Horses brought their atmospheric rock to the Brooklyn Masonic Temple last week. Crappy acoustics but a fine show indeed. They made it through 17 or 18 of the usual suspects, but added a crushing cover of Creedence’s Effigy and closed with Chicago’s Feelin’ Stronger. This hints to the live Editors devotion that I find a bit baffling. Sure, Smith puts on a good show, but they’re just playing the albums with a bit of panache. They did a nice little prelude to Munich back at Terminal 5 in January, but I can’t appreciate the cheap piano as body prop antics that often seem antithetical to their music. Ehh, it’s very U2 in the arena if you like that sort of thing. But that countryman can play guitar.

Looking forward to Foals release and April show. Love Cassius, Hummer. The Long Blondes have found a place in the rotation too. Firewater is back at it?

Left coasters should catch A Decent Animal’s minor chords once they move out to San Fran.

I’m still consumed by dub.

Speaking of Oscars, there are too many locks to warrant any prizes at tourista’s tonight. I’m a one-trick booze enabling pony. The buzz on Michael Clayton doesn’t fit. Sure, Clooney, Wilkinson, even Gilroy are my boys, but I think Pollack delivered the best performance in an otherwise overrated flick. Don’t see a Crash scenario there. Talk about cheap endings? I enjoyed No Country’s closure to Clayton’s little bullshit bow.

Who watches the show? Voyeurs who love Hollywood’s vainglorious nature and actual cinema fans. This year should be enjoyed by the latter given such a great movie year. But who really gives a shit? There were too many good movies this year to warrant picking the best of five.

Youtube is currently down.

Even an end has a start

2008-02-20T03:17:00.004-05:00

It was only a matter of time. Holding out for a big payday (Halle Berry style or even Playboy Cindy Margolis style) or at least a shot at some sort of Award (Gwyneth Paltrow style) or perhaps more appropriately for an illicit "leaked" PR bonanza (Paris Hilton/Kim Kardashian style) all would have been superior than New York (!) magazine.

Cmon, Is Herb Ritts dead?

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Aside from pushing the needless revisiting of the piece below far down the page, it was high time to get back on my apple box here...

Oscars: Sure there's No Country out in front keeping the Coens in the lead for Director and Screenplay, but there's a successful surge (yeah, another one! Call McCain!) for Michael Clayton happening and the blogged about Milkshake-drinking crowd creating buzz all of which leaves Juno unblocked with a clear shot...I think that sums up every prognosticator covering their ass (leaving out the obligatory dig at Atonement which I'll skip since that's more pretentious and preening than anything in the film, which I did enjoy). Anyway, you're justified picking any of them really but go ahead and follow inTrade. After all, they had this for Hillary as far back as...January 7th.

I like No End in Sight too, but I'll sit on the rest of my picks since I may be in competition with some of you come Sunday for some lucrative prize money.

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There are only three scenarios now - an outright win by my boy Barry, a close but certain delegate advantage for him (between 50 and 100 pledged delegate lead) and then the best hope for the Clinton legacy which would be a near draw (<50 pledged delegate spread). The fourth possibility of an outright Clinton win is now gone (nice try on the Deval Patrick gambit though. Worked much better on Biden in '88 with Neil Kinnock riffs). If those are the three scenarios, will the insiders-establishment-DLC-beltway crowd feel emboldened enough and entitled enough to try to snatch it away from BHO and the Gobamaniacs? In the less than 50 delegate sitchy, they'll say "tie! let the party bosses and so-called supers break the tie! it's only fair!" That's my fear. Either way, she's officially un-electable in all three scenarios. Already the stigma of being somewhat robotic and most definitely entitled and insidery and a product of the machine was there, now add a potentially lethal dosage of steal-this-election un-democracy and it's like a sun through a magnifying glass on an ant from May to November. Burn, burn burn...

Somewhere, a Billary with gusto is composing a scenario that works, but I can't wait for the repudiation of our own potentially feudal back-and-forth passing of the White House between southern families.

That inexperience vs. old guy without an econ degree election will be interesting.

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I'm sweet on the Supernatural sounds of the new REM.

I'm high on Hot Chip again.

I've always dug the Raveonettes.

Editors continue to give great live show. Converted now include the LA Times, and a 6'8" friend of mine who'll make you believe too.

I like the pre-buzz and post-buzz Vampire Weekend.

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McNulty being the boss of the police dept is something sweet this season, but the Marlo power play and Omar the superhero has me transfixed on Bawlmer happenings...

It's comedy this season on The Wire! I'm tumescent! Evacuate me!

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As much as I love him, I'm convinced that these are acid-washed jeans Shia stole from my 7th grade closet...

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Finally - Courtney Cox-Arquette and David Arquette (no Coco), Tori Spelling amidst a phalanx of paparazzi (got caught up in their shit, again!), Benjamin McKenzie (short, but very Ryan-like) and Josh Henderson (shirt on, no Edie around) all on Friday at STK. Before that there were others at work events like Collin Farrell (scruffy) and Brian Grazer (spiky) plus more in recent times at work and such - oh yeah, Vince Vaughn doing his tall drink of boozy water bit in downtown LA plus a scruffy Adrian Grenier looking to "fuck the shit" out of someone new at the MOCA opening - but I'll leave it there for now just to keep things current and not reach too too far back.

Looking Back at This Guy Sucks (Issue 2)

2008-02-14T14:47:00.003-05:00

The wounds should be sufficiently healed by now.

In light of today’s news, there really isn’t anything left to say. For all of the sycophantic apologists who cried the oxymoronic “coaching genius” and said it’s as if he knows what’s going to happen before it does, well – yes, he did.

You can say what you want about your titles. You can have them. I’m going to walk off of this post a second early.

Touching Me Touching You

2007-11-14T02:51:00.000-05:00

Strike, struck work, stricken, striking - lots of good strike conjugation going in the Hollywoods these days. Lankershiim Blvd had its own cavalcade of TV stars with the likes of Patricia Heaton, Joshua Jackson, Matthew Modine, Ed Helms, Mary Kay Place, Marg Helgenberger, Kathy Griffin and more drumming up support for the writers.

Foolishness and misleading statements from both sides to be sure as part of the posturing, but fundamentally studios getting payback for '88 even though the tune they sung 20 years ago is far more appropriate right now. Can't see how a good outcome will happen while two more strikes looming on June 30th.

In the meantime, enjoy the PR battle, misinformation (disinformation?) and multitude of celebrities coming out to support the studios.

So, it's been a hell of a few weeks for Boston sports (like most Boston sports fans I exclude BC and sadly, the Bruins from the mix) with the Sox, Pats, C's and even the Revolution running up wins left and right. This is a pop culture blog, but the Boston sports moment has bubbled up to full-fledged phenomenon.

I am In Rainbows and digging it bigtime. Continued points for VHS or Beta and Kaplan-recommended Foreign Born plus new Go! Team and still enjoying The National's work. New Shout Out Louds plus Caribou also have some appealing tracks.

RIP to Mama Kanye, botched surgery right here in Brentwood.

No Country for Old Men is the best movie I've seen this fall season. Granted, I'm a bit behind but still, characters, dialogue, setting, story, visuals. Gripping, interesting and enough profundity to keep the thinking types stimulated. Javier Bardem...creepy.

The Deal is a solid prequel to The Queen, but fundamentally less happens and it's not quite as compelling from a story beat perspective but at least it's about something that matters unlike the Queen.

Btw, good for Harry striking out on his own and leaving Chelsea Davy. The world is your oyster Harry, good luck in Afghanistan and let me know how the snorting vodka thing works out. I'm still curious.

I hate Sci Fi and Medical shows but I am coming around on House. He's just so entertaining and curmudgeonly. Who do I know like that? Well, at least embodying the latter quality. Still holding out against Heroes and Battlestar.

Ben Stiller on the lot the other day. More of the CSI folks on the picket lines.

I think I already mentioned Katzenberg, Faith Ford, Seann William Scott from the NYC trip sightings entry. Forgive the second mention.

Tense, riveting Heidi Lauren face off last night. LC said her piece and showed far more poise than I ever would have even if I was shot on HiDef with a good editor. Heidi has no moves, they simply cannot be friends with Spencer/Steve Sanders in the picture. Whitney still holding it down.

As is my girl Rachel Bilson despite dating well known gay Hayden Christensen she came back to give us more Summer except as "Lou" on Chuck and our friend Josh Schwartz had the good sense not to write her out after 1 episode. Extend this into the strike period JS and I'll push for a speedy resolution!

Finally, JustJared.com has a disturbing photo of Phil Collins on their site, except that it is a recent photo of Jude Law. Embarassing.

1 2 3 4 5 6 9 and 10

2007-10-17T20:52:00.000-04:00

My man JT shotgunning beers in the back in between hitting on Kristen Bell and mindlessly ignoring J Biel.

Alas, he would agree too much has accumulated and must come out in a manner lacking wit...

People are not watching Aliens in America on the CW. I'd rather be a Nielsen household for one week than vote in the election. Tough time slot on Monday and low profile with no real stars other than the kooky Caroline in the City girl as the Mom and Luke from the Stars Hallow diner as the Dad, but.....it is a keeper. Last week's "soft on terror" episode in which Raja ("Roger") was thought to be building a terrorist rocket was funny, bawdy, had sophisticated political themes and even had some heartfelt moments. Even if Kal doesn't make House' staff, we need Adhir Kalyan. Between him and Sendhil Ramamamurthy and future Governor Bobby Jindal (R -LA) we are having our moments.

I love Chuck, but I don't know how much longer they can continue the "gee willikers, I'm doing high-stakes espionage stuff this week" accidental spy theme before Chuck stops being surprised by it. Still, I'm in on this show as well as Gossip Girl. Still giving Dirty Sexy Money a fighting chance, but generally am not feeling it. No hook for me yet.
I hate that fucking Aflac duck and hope he gets hurt badly in a future commercial or better yet, gets his own show a la the insurance-ad-inspired Cavemen and then gets unceremoniously cancelled.

Still digesting it, but enjoying In Rainbows, more on this soon...

Myself - along with the Boston Globe and others - are happy that the one hour Office episodes full of Mindy Kaling's "chuffa' are over. I am also enticed by the Andy Angela budding romance.

Like most of my observations I'm not the first to say it, but the current moment of indie-dance with Digitalism, Klaxons, Justice, Rapture and more is frankly more enjoyable than the CMJ charts were in my day with DInosaur Jr., Pavement, Guided By Voices, Yo La Tengo. It's nice to dance and still have cred is alls I'm sayin'.

This week's Kanye album song I'm obsessing over is the Homecoming track with Chris Martin. Kanye's raps are forgettable, but the opening piano bit and Chris Martin's short little chorus ditty are on permanent rotation in my head.

I am getting really annoyed at the limited dictionary in my phone's T9 Word. I tried typing "anti-climactic" nothing. Nix as I in, I nixed plans to be out of the house during Game 6 of the ALCS didn't make it either. A customized t9 word dictionary that trued-up with OED would be a nice phone upgrade, more so than a fancy ringback tone.

Celebs - Rob Estes on Main Street in Santa Monica, guess it was too hot too sleep for him. Also, Tim Meadows at the office - I know, ho-hum, doesn't count.

Enjoyed the Foreign Born live in Barnsdall Art Park a few weeks ago. Perfect SoCal afternoon show from Silverlake's own....

You Can Be My Black Kate Moss Tonight

2007-09-26T15:41:00.000-04:00

Everyone should have one.

The #1 fan and Kaplan have exhorted me to put some effort into this thing and after a long layoff I'm back. For reals.

Shows -

Editors at Wiltern. Out of the bands in my orbit, they are the best live performers out there right now. Period. Sound, energy, lights the whole is working for Mr. Tom Smith. Like Kaplan I agree that Smokers Outside the Hospital Door took on a new potency in its live form vs. the radio airplay. If you want to play the reductionist riff sure, early U2 musical sound + vocals from the school of Ians (take your pick Joy Division's Curtis or Echo and the Bunnymen's McCullough) = Editors. It's an equation that works for me the #2 fan, who's a math teacher and should know about equations even if she doesn't know about caveman geometry using compass constructions (that's what private school education will get ya!). Biffy Clyro was utterly forgettable opening act despite what NME might say.

Spoon at Fonda - They were bad. The opposite of taking their good studio material and turning it into urgent living breathing sound. Their setlist's pacing was all off, the tunes were lazy and didn't have that extra spice or twist required for the show. Utterly disappointing.

Arcade Fire and LCD Soundsystem and Wild Light at Hollywood Bowl - The Arcade Fire redeemed themselves in my universe for their perceived misdeeds at the Greek in May. Win and co. filled the bowl and reset the bone with their performance under the stars. DOn't think I need to see the preacher again for a while, but the anthems shook the old bowl and got up all the hipsters outta their seats (although a sardonically funny and rocking-est set from LCD did not. hmmph). I also enjoyed Wild Light enough to make a note to self to check them out again.

Hall and Oates and the Spinners at The Hollywood Bowl - Yeah, this one was really more about the fancy spread of food we prepared for our terrace box seats. H&O still have it though. One on One was a highlight. Still unclear to me are: 1) What Oates brings to the table now that his mustache is gone (yep, she's gone) and 2) Who are the current practioners of the H&O new soul sound? I shudder to think it might be Maroon 5.

Movies

So many good ones have come, so many good ones to come. Eastern Promises is worth a viewing to immerse oneself in the Russian mob and to watch THAT scene. THAT scene dominates the movie and overwhelms the senses, maybe to the detriment of the rest of the film, but it is superior to History of Violence. What else ---- Into the Wild, Kingdom, Lust, Caution floating around and Michael Clayton, Elizabeth and Gangster still to come. That's a heavily Universal Pictures / Focus Features influenced list. Go figure. Across the Universe looks awful. I'll check out the pretty pictures from Jesse James one day, I won't fall in the trap of thinking 3:10 to Yuma is an Oscar movie and then there are more Toronto fest movies with good buzz floating around like Juno, Battle of Haditha and another two or six I cannot recall AG Gonzalez style.

There's nearly too much to capture. Chuck, DSM, Gossip Girl, FNL are new to the TiVo list this year. I wish the Bionic Woman was hotter, Cavemen was funnier and Pushing Daisies was less fucking whimsical. I hate whimsy. The show will be joining returning titles Curb, Always Sunny, Office, 30 Rock. I'm going to sample Aliens in America because well, I have to but I know it'll be gone soon. It's like that Desmond black butler/slave show. Heidi's latest attempt to blame "mean boys" for her plastic surgery is Spencer's latest machination but I don't think it'll work, except wait, US Weekly fell for it! Oh, Janice!! At least Elodie had a deliciously snarky moment shitting on Heidi for usurping her job. Heidi has no friends, Spencer and she are outcasts, I get it. When does their revenge subplot begin? Maybe when Scarecrow gives his brain to Audrina? Or Whitney goes to the beach with them?

I'm currently obsessing over Blake Lively. She's making Gossip go for me.

You want Emmys chatter? Why? I too do not give a shit. Most people don't. Certainly the ratings attest to that. I think most people would take a day after YouTube spin through the show and click through some red carpet photos and be quite content. Our friends at Bill Maher had a nice Sen. Craig bit when they were nominated, but sitting in the dark meant they had to lose although we all that COlbert would capitalize on a weak-ish year for the Daily Show, but Conan swooped in. Seventy Sopranos people stoop up twice, Sally Field said goddman, Brad Garrett did his usual lame yukster-ing about boobs (remember his Melissa Gilbert shtick a while ago at SAG awards?) and the rest of it was stupid except for Rainn Wilson singing Stronger and Kanye saying he never wins.

Music

Kanye > 50. Jay- Z coming back Gangster-style again. Enjoying the Foreign Born courtesy of Kaplan. Gogol Bordello is about the live show but the album has its moments. Need to dig back into the Pitchfork well.

Celebs

Sure there was Harrison Ford at work and on the way home in his Indy getup. Also Zac Efron at the gym - he looks good naked. Sony Pix CEO Michael Lynton at Whole Foods (why are execs so shifty when they're out? Like I'm going to hand him a script?). Jennifer Tilly at Max's in Studio City spending her poker winnings on her dinner with a gal pal. Tim Meadows bringing everybody down at the Improv Olympic along with the new Real World LA cast (looking very Hudgens-like). Bill Duke of American Gigolo fame is a Friday regular at the gym as well. He's big and does not enjoy working out. There are more, but that's all I have for right this minute....

Unseasonably warm in NYC, but good for all the diplomats and the girls in their summer dresses for another week.

Wordless Title?

2007-09-15T14:29:00.003-04:00

I can longer turn on PB&J and be instantly charmed. After another show at the Roseland Ballroom I’ve had my fill. Maybe it’s because the venue has no character. Or because I just heard the whistling on The Big Bang Theory trailer. In a show of bad sportsmanship, Alasdair Maclean lamented during their opening set that PB&J opened for them five years ago in Sweden. I’m a big Clientele fan, but I can be a morose human being. Most want music to inspire them. Why else would people like crappy Josh Groban? Anyway, the set was fun, Peter looked pregnant and I don’t want to hear anything about black magic marker rings for a while. I’ll come back to them next year. How do PH readers feel about the serial comma?

Editors surprised at Webster Hall. The last two minutes of Smokers live is a treat. Very late ‘80s Les Mis, which explains my Kerryesque flip-flopping on these guys. With The Back Room came trite goth comparisons. But Tom Smith is so guttural on this album that I don’t know where to start. They have a good lighting guy though.

Shoot ‘Em Up is a complete piece of shit. How can it be intentionally funny without a single Point Break reference or Peter Jackson cameo? Check out Hot Fuzz if you want the reel deal. Shame on you Clive. You were my new boy.

No insights on the Emmy Awards since I rarely turn on the TV for anything other than sports. I like House and The Wire. Otherwise ignorant. How can you care about TV when it prematurely destroyed the postmodern gem Arrested Development?

Michael Musto came within a few inches of scuffing my favorite Chelsea boots with his nerdy bike. Otherwise, not a lot of action in and around my office lately.

ipod tells me that I’ve been listening to a lot of Foreign Born.

This Guy Sucks (Issue 2)

2007-09-13T11:53:00.001-04:00

He’s a homewrecking curmudgeon.

He’s terribly insecure. A real belt and suspenders kind of guy.

And he’s a selfish prick. Ask Ted Johnson.

A musty night for moody music

2007-08-26T18:45:00.005-04:00

90 degrees again in NYC. Walking into the Mercury Lounge for the first time since seeing Arcade Fire at Radio City, I thought about the trajectory of the acts that frequented this erstwhile rite of passage. It’s hard to believe that Win and Co. played such a cozy venue just three years ago. On the heels of Funeral’s release in September 2004, did everyone there know that the room, the block, the neighborhood could never contain such anthemic sounds?

Yet another Brooklyn-based indie outfit, Ola Podrida’s Southern folky sound took me by surprise. We arrived to David Wingo on a countrified, quiet banjo and were treated to an impassioned Cindy. They closed with a lot of momentum, solidifying some ongoing interest. More than two beards = legit contender, album cover controversies aside.

Despite the Beach House top billing, I really went to see Papercuts. Jason Quever’s psychedelic warble and nifty storytelling have made the morning grind seem purposeful this past summer. Awkward mannerisms and a tiny stage presence belie his considerable talent. Victoria Legrand did her indie duty and joined on the set’s penultimate John Brown, a special treat as the song’s second half features heightened bass and a side of Quever’s lyricism that is mostly hidden on Can’t Go Back. An abolitionist vibe? You heard it here first. Solid set all around.

Beach House rounded out the hazy pop evening with sleepy percussions and intentionally languid vocals. There really is an intimacy that makes you want to roll up in blanket on the porch by the lake. There’s enough said about these guys already.

Which leads me back to the original thought. Which one of these acts in its current form is destined to play Mercury Lounge forever?

Jason Bourne saved my life

2007-08-23T18:52:00.000-04:00

After an enjoyable left coast whirl I felt compelled to carry the torch back east, but my Faustian pact with the man always seems to keep me away.

Ignorant observations: Greengrass exceeds expectations and is incredibly skilled. A bit formulaic perhaps? There are remarkable similarities between the Desh and Jarda asphyxiations evoking lazy dei ex machinis. Another fantastic car chase (was that a Touareg he was driving?) which reaches Supremacy heights but doesn’t quite scale Rushmore. Joan Allen has not aged well. She’s got that pasty white gal handicap.

Does anyone care now that Bonds has broken through? The entire sport is suspect and Schilling is the archetype. I hate that guy. Such a blowhard. He should get a blog.

In other news, saw Wolf Parade at Warsaw in uh, Greenpoint. There was a lot of pre-show buzz about the set list as previous days featured mostly new material from a crew that has been underground as a collective for far too long. Having never seen them live I craved some Apologies. They limped in with some technical difficulties but hit their stride with lots of beer, urination breaks and just flat out great music.

The oft-discussed competing egos were nowhere to be found. Number 2 fan remains intrigued by Krug’s getup. Surely he would prefer t-shirts to a button-down oxford. Seven or so Apologies and some great new material. The Billy J -> Language bridge was a highlight. The hoi polloi also enjoyed Boeckner’s Boston bashing.

Boxer is an early Best Album for 2007. It gets better with every listen.

No Ultimate Search necessary. No extra airline miles. Just a cozy theatre for me, alone in the afternoon.

Darkness on the Edge of Town

2007-07-06T11:01:00.000-04:00

At least for this junkie there is as I'll be away for awhile.

Haven't given you much lately anyway.

Minnie Driver at Katsuya last night out with a very tan strapping older man. She looked good, but let's be honest, everyone looks good in that Katsuya lighting.

Rick Fox riding his bike through Westwood last weekend.

Paris and LiLo at a sober get together on the beach. What a carefully choreographed tabloid press moment.

Speaking of media manipulation, I think if Vaness Manillo really wants to sell us on the 'scandal' photos, she should come out with a more vituperative anti-paparazzi statement. Otherwise her cover - along with Nick's O-face - will be blown.

Does anyone give a shit about any of the artists performing at Concert for Diana and Live Earth? I mean, really give a shit?

Live Free or Die Hard has a great premise and is fun, despite having a somewhat underdrawn villain. Still think the 2nd one is the best.

See you in August. Let's hope the Sox are still up double digits...

Everybody Gonna Dance Around Tonight

2007-06-21T03:43:00.000-04:00

Macca going all out with secret shows iTunes ads and wearing Chuck Taylors. Anything to stay relevant.

Better to weigh in late rather than never: Tony isn't dead. It's too weakly motivated given all the movement in the other direction during the episode. I favor the materialism-fueled personal hell interpretation with Meadow on her way in to his dismay and the always-watching vigilance required by his past. I dug the ending. I love Journey. Almost all the prior scenes wrapped up storylines. Adriana (or Christopher?) showed up as the cat, Paulie is still loyal, Tony and Paulie debated the existence of God. What more can you ask for people? If you want your finale all neat and tied up with a bow, then I'd advise you watch the Friends finale or The West Wing.

Isn't it typically lame and over-programmed of Hillary Clinton to do a knock-off Sopranos finale and get Johnny Sack, but fail to get him in a Members Only jacket and also to overplay his presence? To namecheck one of the worst bands of all time in Smashmouth? And to naturally pick a totally lame Celine Dion song as her "song." At least she could have picked an awesomely bad one like "A New Day." I'm not sure I have a crush on Obama yet either. Not until I see how much weight Al Gore loses in the next few weeks.

Enjoyed the dry hilarity of Flight of the Conchords. Starting a relationship off with a "break" that is inspired. Let's see how it goes. Their accents are addictive like $2 bags of junior high cheese.

By the by, I don't get why Entourage's Ari is so sanguine about Vince's deal to make Medellin. As his agent wouldn't he only get 10% of Vince's salary? And if the movie budget is hacked down to $30M and Vince is the producer, wouldn't you think Vince's salary would be tiny? And thus, Ari receives no real payday? He can't take a producer credit or equity since he's not a Manager (like E). So Ari should be pissed. Matterhorn would have netted Mrs. Ari some nice baubles. This does nothing.

Celebs abound:
- Dennis Rodman at Skybar last week. Rodman gave the #1 Fan a once-over up and down and declared that he "loved it" before moving on. I was proud.
- Stanley from The Office at lunch in Studio City. He looked dryly hilarious.
- Jim Gray asking tough questions of the Pinkberry founder at the recent opening of Pinkberry Brentwood. Wish he had asked about their new blackberry counting policies. What would Kele has wished for at Pinkberry?
- The #1 Fan reports that Harrison Ford is getting buff for Indy 4. Sadness that Sean Connery not participating due to his old man greed and Spielberg/Lucas younger old men parsimony. Btw, Calista Flockhart, not looking so good. Haggard is the word.

Universal is in the Clive Owen business again. Deservedly so. CHildren of Men was the best pic of '06. Frank Miller has heat right now. Noir just doesn't seem commercial though, does it?

The ultraviolence appears to be out of vogue for the egomaniacal Eli Roth. Too bad. You know, since he's from Mass.

Speaking of which, Coco's bat is waking up. Color me excited.

Justice not doing it for me. The National has low key charm. More research required on Feist and Wilco.

The King Is Taking Back The Throne

2007-06-07T03:07:00.000-04:00

I'm all info and no pithy this time because the B-list celebs are piling up like dirty laundry.

Comic and lucky beneficiary of Yes Dear success Mike O'Malley at the grocery store. I really wanted to ask him if his friends really do call him The Rick. I miss The Rick.

John Heard of Pelican Brief, Home Alone and now Caveman pilot fame at the gym. Big man, skinny legs.

Bai Ling at this Aston Martin party in Bev Hills. Skinny girl, ugly bangs.

Ed Helms outside La Poubelle after the Arcade Fire show at the Greek. Funny guy, practical car (a VW!).

Greek Theater gave me backwards upside-down experience compared to Kaplan and Coachella Arcade Fire. Sound was awful, Win sounded hoarse, set lacked urgency and the crowd was so lame and LA. One highlight was Win walking up to the back of the Greek to say hi to us. After that Wake Up sounded good, but all in all, a disappointing night for our guys.

Per the blogosphere, the rest of the week Win was apparently busy stealing basketballs from Berkeley students.

Btw, doesn't Ari get no money from the most recent Medellin deal? He's Vince's agent, so he gets 10% of Vince's payday, which as producer presumably, will be extremely low. E however, can produce and get a credit. Not insidery enough it seems.

Caveman was funny for about 40 seconds after which it became painful and one-note. Cannot wait for a whole season of this shit! NBCU pilots promising (corporate shill alert) with mhy highest marks (predictably) going to Josh Schwartz's Chuck. A funny Alias, an Office meets the Bourne Identity, all that shit. Bionic Woman, Journeyman and Life all have promise, but I wish they had better looking casts. They even make Sarah Shahi late of Sopranos look fugly.

I really hope Silvio doesn't die. He's such a good #2.

Knocked Up may not have the strong woman angle, may meander a bit in the 2nd act, but it is still funny. Really really funny. That's all you need. Too bad Apatow is setting up camp at Sony for his next projects including the all-star sounding Jack Black thing made by the Office guys.

There is justice in the world after all. At this very moment Paris and Joe Francis are locked up and crying themselves to sleep in jail and Lindsay Lohan is institutionalized.

Now if they could just incarcerate Jennifer Aniston and end her relentless, neverending pity party, I'd feel a lot better.

A-Rod is supposed to be modern day Mr. Baseball. Perfect in every way. If Eckstein had done it, no complaints. I personally am enjoying the nicknames, Stray-Rod, Strip-Rod, NotWithHisWife-Rod. Good times.

Opportunity for filmmakers to master 3D and create a new visual film aesthetic around 3D. Nobody has figured it out yet for live action. After seeing clips from new U2 3D and other stuff, am convinced it has potential but definitely not being realized by current films. Strange mix of showing you the old way (i.e. pretend you are in the crowd) and the new way (i.e. pretend you are the 5th member of the band onstage with them). Shit looks good, but to do it right requires a new mindset. Entering worlds via 3D - preferably like the documentary Bugs with more still-based photography - seems like the right place to start.

Three cheers for Kyle Resnick

2007-06-04T00:09:00.005-04:00

It took about 45 minutes after Philistines Jr. for The National to saunter on the stage. Like much of the disinterested crowd at Radio City I missed these guys when they opened for Arcade Fire. I do overplay my various roles rather severely. Awkward ankle hops during the set didn’t engender the love either.

I’m always impressed when a band doesn’t try to mimic their studio tracks. The live tunes were much more developed and sharp, reflecting perhaps the previous four nights and collective crowd experiences. Matt Berninger maintained a moody baritone, infusing the set with anxious temple slams and equally nerdy knuckle bites.

I’m sure the angst-ridden polemic Mr. November was a highlight for many, but they had more praiseworthy melodies, especially the layered Mistaken for Strangers. I find most of their lyrics a bit trite, those clichéd poetic truths of high school journal keepers. I leaned on the wall and the wall leaned away? There’s just too much purposeful writing, with some gems in between. But I think they’ll grow on me as I appreciate the gloomy humor. You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends. Been there.
The show’s energy was about right. I wasn’t as respectful as I could have been during the lonesome tunes due to a brewing facial hair brouhaha and a Superfan called me out on it. I heard about the speaker stand before the show so it hardly seemed rocker spontaneous. The highlight though was Bryan Devendorf. He really rocked Brainy. He drives almost every song. That dude can play.

I really don’t understand the A-Rod pop-up controversy. We did that shit in Little League and you know what, that’s as pure as the game gets. Shame on Howie Clark for actually falling for it. Not a good way to start in the Bigs. And the overuse of “bush league” is self-fulfilling.

Did I just hear Clooney mouthing for Budweiser? A-Rod laser averts manicure madness.

Myself is thus and so

2007-05-20T21:58:00.000-04:00

Arcade Fire at Radio City. Collective observations from partygoers: first off, the acoustics in that place are amazing and really brought out everything that is right about the band. It's special to witness anyone at the top of their game. They could have Hall of Fame numbers if they went out now. Would Pujols? The music ended abruptly, like Antichrist ripping itself away from you. And I wished they did Windowsill for all those crazy kids.

They have so many anthems that I don't think you can fully appreciate the music until you hear it live. The sound is so much bigger than Funeral. I've been on an anti-consumerism kick lately so the songs feel right. So much so that I caught them in Chicago too. Fans were dull, but the performance was just as sharp. Reginisodes were especially memorable.

Fav stuff right now: Besnard Lakes - Dark Horse, Blonde Redhead - 23 (yeah, fuck off Pf, you snubbed my boy) and Twilight Sad - 14 Autumns (despite verbose titles). The Clientele and Great Lake Swimmers put me in a good place.

Looking forward to Bourne. I talked a lot of game for Supremacy and punked out on ultimate devotion, but the time is now right. I'll be playing hooky Aug 3rd. I'm aiming for more than a t-shirt.

How are things on the west coast?

2007-05-12T03:44:00.000-04:00

My goodness Kaplan has been showing me up with his reviews.

I had to counter with the coolest looking rock star I've seen lately...Carlos D!

'Tis true, I've been remiss. No Coachella update even!

It is stale news, but here's the rundown:

Best bands I saw: Arcade Fire and Interpol on the main stage were both awesome in every sense of the word. Peaches took us downtown to show us her thing and got dirrty in a way that Christina Aguilera never could. Of Montreal had a stirring set beginning but by and large, the best fun to be had at this year's desert festival was in the new rave / indie dance/ dj tip. Girl Talk first and foremost (our dancing friends Paris H and Busy P - Hilton/Phillips natch - can attest) but then Hot Chip, Mstrkrft, Klaxons (I hear), LCD Soundsystem, !!! it juest goes on...

Must also alert the masses to the carnival-style gypsy rock'n'roll of Gogol Bordello featuring the Borat of circus rock as a lead singer. Fun times.

Just like those frosted shredded mini wheats bring people back to a youthful era, the emo kid in me appreciated the SoCal angst of Jack's Mannequin and most of all, thoroughly enjoyed being the tallest and oldest person at that show (which is why I think the #1 Fan and I were the only ones who sung along to the Tom Petty American Girl cover he did and also enjoyed making Silence of the Lambs references afterwards while the pimply faced stared blankly at the stage).

Disappointment from Tokyo Police Club. More better barcade rock from The Fratellis. Uneven PB and John but a sublime Objects of My Affection. Flashes of good stuff from Good Bad and the Queen.

I hope Sunday was the political revolutionary day led by Morello/De La Rocha because on Saturday night - or Parking ClusterfuckII as the film will be known - it took three 30+ folks to lead the anarchist charge to the parking lot over a few patches of horse stable grass and a rotund middle-aged security woman. Fuck you I won't do what you tell me lady!

My top three text messages from Coachella weekend:

1) Should we stop to buy small shampoo bottles? (small clear bottles used for transporting vodka on one's person or as Lindsay Lohan calls them...lunch).
2) Neko is here (referring to New Pornographers songstress Neko Case, she of massive pipes)
3) !!!? (a point for Derrida's concept of drift and recontextualized meaning if there ever was one. The prevailing arbitrariness of symbols momentarily suspended as this simple text conveyed our dilemma of seeing !!! (chk, chik, chick) vs. getting a good close spot for the Arcade Fire).

Planet Earth is worth the hype, but only on HD. Small insects are ok and there are lots of monkeys but nothing can top the big game. Still, fascinating all 'round including the aerial views of hunts and chases. Feels like game coverage needing a color man to go alongside Sigourney Weaver's assured play by play. The shark, the snow leopard, the birds of paradise, the mountains in general and the deep sea are all worth the price of admission on this thing.

Apparently, animals sleep eat fuck and kill all day long. And that makes scintillating television.

Who knew?

Spidey 3 is a yawner, but I've only got Pirates 3 ahead of it in the summer derby. I think most of the films will suck until Bourne comes out August 3rd. Btw, do girls like Tobey Maguire? How old are these girls? I already know that nobody thinks Kirsten Dunst is pretty, but you know she seems crazybeautiful and just enough of a party girl (uh, having sex in a changing room?) to entice most men (but not me, ugh!). Btw, Bryce Howard does nothing for nobody and must make nowhere plans for nobody. Lame.

Ho-hum Spielberg at work, Kal Penn at an open house, DB Sweeney at El Cholo and there's one more I'm forgetting.

Not sure I want to sign up for three more years of Lost jerking my chain. Sad that I only have three more Gilmore Girls to follow, oh, I will follow you anywhere...except where characters don't act like the way they've been written for the prior six seasons.

Fay Grim getting good pub for my girl Parker Posey. A sequel to the immense franchise property, Henry Fool. Because the public demanded it from Hal Hartley!!
Parker also has a pilot. Not sure if it got picked up. But it's a Amy Sherman Palladino pilot (the Gilmore Girls woman!) which has me extra excited for Gilmore meets Party Girl/House of Yes.

Brunettes in the media are doing well, unless you're Chris Albrecht's 5'9" 125 lb brunette girlfriend with choke marks around her neck.

Is it just me or has ESPN's Fred Hickman aged like 20 years just like that?

Can a future President really not believe in evolution? Or better yet, can someone not believe in evolution and believe they can become President.

Anybody who donates money to the Tom Tancredos after that has to be a product of intelligent design right?

Listen if I were like Kate Hudson to Baron Davis, if I had gone to Crossroads High I probably would have lived in LA and never left, yet instantly become a Warriors fan when it was expedient to do so and play up my ties to former classmates on the team with a tenuous connection via a friend's publicist that he remembers me.

Go Warriors!

You're giving me the shills

2007-05-03T12:39:00.000-04:00

Late with the feedback on the Webster Hall 3 x 3, but here it is.

Au Revoir Simone gals are very tall. That’s all I have on them. Anything worth saying has been said already.

I enjoyed Fujiya & Miyagi. I would have enjoyed the set more if the lighting was right. Electronica can thrive with some basic backlighting. The music engages me, not Fujiya’s face. I appreciated him more taking in the PB&J from the balcony.

I learned a bunch during PB&J’s set. Webster Hall is the right size venue for these guys. They are making some of the best pop music right now. Swedes could never pronounce !!!. Peter can play some decent guitar. The highlight was a moving Teen Love from Falling Out. They played an extended Up Against the Wall as the requisite pre-encore, but I think they may have blown the top off too soon. That’s my only critique. The Peter Bjorn and John Backdrop, Peter Bjorn and John Bass Drum, Peter Bjorn and John Guitar Amp. Simple, smart.

Only Britain solders on

2007-04-25T09:59:00.000-04:00

No smoking, no racial epithets, and now no driving gratis into congested zones. Bloomberg may finally have ventured into untenable territory. The outer boroughs still love SUVs. But Red Ken survived.

The hip hop culture debate is a bore. Is this really news to anyone? There aren’t many bright spots beyond Kanye, Common, Talib, Blackalicious, or Mos, and he hasn’t put out anything inspired since Black on Both Sides. Give me some decent grime and I forget about hip hop. Looking forward to the new Dizzee Rascal.

Been back and forth on Neon Bible. It’s everything everyone says it is, but is it Arcade Fire? You hear Bruce, Byrne says he hears himself, and frankly, all I hear is a shitload of reverb. Or is it slapback delay? Too subtle for my untrained ears. And maybe too gothic. Black Mirror is straight out of First and Last, but Sisters did it better. The big sound should translate well live though. I’ll find out in two weeks and report back.

Going to check out PB&J next week with Fujiya & Miyagi, provided I can make it through the Au Revoir Simone synth set.

And for the celebrity blues. Saw Kevin Bacon cruising though Blue Smoke with a bunch of random dudes. Sunday night it was Chloe Sevigny with some very proper parentals at Blue Ribbon Sushi. About 5 minutes later Dave Chappelle walked in and enjoyed some California rolls by his lonesome at the bar. He framed some photos of the fish with his digital camera, but I can't confirm that any were snapped.

Clippers in ?? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention

2007-04-23T12:24:00.000-04:00

Kristin Cavallari at Barefoot in Bev Hills for lunch on Sat. She looked mature and attractive and bitchy. Although I wished she looked like shit. She did have a cocktail at lunch.

Also caught a pre-rehab Angus Jones (the Half of Two and a Half Men) at lunch there. He's 13 and quite good with children we observed.

Oh yeah, death to Richard Gere!

You are a rude, thoughtless, little pig

2007-04-20T22:35:00.000-04:00

So today's the big day for Ireland Baldwin to get "straightened out" by her Daddy. I hope Alec takes that "little pig" to task for, um, not picking up her phone. But he "doesn't give a damn that she's 12 years old" you know? Even though, you know, she's the "artistic inspiration" for his Golden Globe.

Apparently Baldwin has moved permanently into the blowhard era of his career as thespian and in real life. I'm enjoying it immensely.

The Sanjaya rise and fall on Idol has pretty much gone according to plan. When Defamer turned, the die was cast. The next interesting phase is just beginning. Defamer says hair product ads. I think a lot of guest TV spots. He'd be great as someone Kenneth runs into at a casting call on 30 Rock.

Doing my Coachella homework. I'm late to the Peter Bjorn party but also loving the new Peaches, Brazilian Girls, and the little emo inside me enjoying playing dress-up with Jack's Mannequin. Noisettes up next.

Sightings:
More from the CSI cast at work - Paul Guilfoyle and the man who couldn't get into Parc (Nelson laugh) Gary Dourdan. Almost doesn't count.

Hit the Pinkberry off Laurel mid-week and encountered Kim Kardashian. Aside from being yet another famous for no good reason type her posterior was larger than expected given what was shown on tape. Extremely tight jeans. The #1 fan was not impressed.

Also, Sendhil Ramamurthy at Parc about two weeks ago. I know, a bit stale, but I needed to mention that we were at Parc.

Oh yeah, highly recommend Hot Fuzz. Not just shilling for the man here. Genre deconstruction followed by genre celebration, mixed in with some good laughs.

I am hot because I am fly

2007-04-17T01:35:00.000-04:00

Yes, yes, delinquent in many ways.

Anybody good?

Not really. Bob Iger enjoying lunch with his kids in Brentwood. No sign of Willow Bay or Ahmad Rashad. Usual CSI cast members roaming around work - Paul Guilfoyle and George Eads.

How many nascent female rap groups called Nappy Headed 'Hos were formed in the last two weeks? Also, how many new horror films were birthed starring Don Imus' ghastly visage? I am so ready for that story to be over. Imus is certainly a non-entity on the left coast.

So, Chicago 2016 > LA 2016. Well, so says the USOC but I don't believe the IOC would in 2009. Feel bad for my guy Barry Sanders. Guess LA wasn't sexy enough. Good luck Pat Ryan.

Birkhead wins in anti-climactic finale. Ho-hum. At least Willa Ford is starring in the flick that I always knew would be made on an epic scale.

So 24 actually snuffed out the main original storyline, but then turned out they had another 6 hours to fill with a new storyline that started about 30 seconds after the last one ended. I'm over it.

Feel the same way about Lost. I have twist fatigue. I am tired of lingering villains. I want the bug eyed Ben to die slow while being tortured by Jack Bauer.

Am officially on the hunt for a good Maulik Pancholy sighting now that he has a tremendous trifecta of Sopranos (Sacramoni's real doc, Gupta), 30 Rock (Jack's assistant) and Weeds as a sub-distrib dealer. He represents the tribe well.

A quick sad demise to Andy Barker PI. That old guy partner of his has some exquisite lines, "don't know how you got that oven baker of yours to un-cross her honey sticks." Honey sticks!
Show was finding its stride in week four.

Subtle morally ambiguous violent unpredictable and throughly engrossing even if it is missing a driving narrative momentum. That is the Sopranos last stand. Paulie gets it soon? Tony hangs it up or gets over his doubt soon?

Have dug deep lately on the Russians: Peter Bjorn, Brazilian Girls, !!! (Chk Chk) and new Peaches. Not quite sold The Good The Bad and the Queen yet.

I Can Taste Your Fear

2007-03-29T15:38:00.000-04:00

Some quick takes:

- Finally caught up on Rocky Balboa (aims for the original's spirit, but is lumbering and slow and distinctly lame. Could use some of that juice that Stallone left behind in the Sydney airport), Happy Feet (I really just hate Elijah Wood. Irrationally so. And given my distaste for musicals, I was a natural to despise this movie. And so I did), The Prestige (I felt so smugly self-satisfied for figuring out the "twist" that I can't bring myself to like the film. Also, the preposterous sci-fi element totally ruined it. Still, I admire the storytelling and love the double-protagonist structure), The Wind That Shakes The Barley (green, grim and gross but well-made bleakness from the master of bleak, Ken Loach. I really loved the clothes. And the accents.), Flags of our Fathers (there's no story here after the beginning. A movie with no ending is lame) and Marie Antoinette (nice soundtrack but nobody can make Kirsten Dunst appealing). Finally, Namastey London was embarrassing and usual simplistic mess. Only one funny inside Indian TV soap opera joke was redeeming. The British actors in the film are worse than anyone else.

Ali Larter and Salman Khan in Marigold would have been interesting if directed by a real daring filmmaker and not the guy who directed one of the worst movies of all time that I saw in a theater Playing By Heart.

And the celebs...

- Cut in front of a teal Porsche 911 today on the 101. "What's the deal with cutting into my lane?" yelled its driver, Jerry Seinfeld. Although I wished he had said, "that was really dick." which is my new favorite phrase.

- Registering for wedding gifts during round 2 of the NCAA tournament (never felt so happy to have a fancy cellphone with web access) at William Sonoma and found English action star Jason Statham of Crank and Transporter fame admiring the fine crockery and in need of a sauce pot.

- The #1 Fan's gym report includes the news that Poppy has gotten sloppy and has some big thighs. That's CSI's Poppy Montgomery. One of my top TV names by the by. The #1 Fan was not impressed.

- The #1 Fan also confirms a very plain but bubbly and friendly looking Anne Hathaway at the gym. "She seems nice. Like we could have her over for dinner or something," spoketh the #1 Fan. I'm sure Anne wrote the same thing on her blog.

Go Hoyas

Wherever Whenever

2007-03-26T10:06:00.000-04:00

Blogging to you live from a scintillating panel discussion in Mumbai on DTH regulations

Shakira fever in Bombay. Alas she was a no-show at her Nokia sponsored afterparty last night.

Last big concert by a Non-Indian here? I'll give you three guesses and while huessing Bryan Adams for all three is a good bet, the answer is actually former Pink Floyd-er Rog-er Wat-ers. That is Shiva's honest truth from her upright straight talkin, hips.

Everything in India is hockey stick growth. Film? Check. Real estate, Population, Youth, Urbanization, Malls, education, Traffic, urban squalor ? Koho hockey sticks with black tape all around.

Don't think that Indian directors and singers and small time actors count for celebs so I'll skip the bold faced names portion except to say celebrity is fungible.

Really really digging the Neon Bible from Arcade Fire. The two vars tunes, Antichrist and Intervention are just so grandiose and emotional. More Born to Run influenced than anything else althgough I realize that is a totally unoriginal observation but also not the first time in this space.

Cannot believe high-waisted jeans are back. Looking forward to my first pair. Hoping Jesse Metcalfe and Britney get together so they can both stay in the press and have a joint Skybar meltdown.

My bracket is f'ed. Good games but boring bracket is what I hear.

Man this is.a lame post. Isn't it?

Just be happy I am live mobile-blogging from FICCI Frames 2007 Entertainment conference loyal readers.Aside from Telly Savalas nobody loves like I do.

On our teacher's training day...

2007-03-07T15:42:00.000-05:00

Quick hits...

Honcho-heavy celeb sightings:
- A hirsute Brad Grey outside Mrs. Beasley's in Brentwood Country Mart. He seemed pleased with his convertible.
- Michael Eisner at Mozza last night with the entire Eisner brood. One of his kids looks more Mickey-like than he did.
- Donal Logue at Lala's in Studio City on Monday commiserating over the cancellation of his show with some grilled chicken Argentinian style. He has lost a lot of his Grounded For Life / Tao of Steve heft.

Also....

I always hated Spencer Pratt from The Hills. The Details interview was over-the-top bad. Now I also hate Heidi. She's dimwitted and selfish. Whitney remains the only virtuous and intelligent person on the show. Well, except for super-intern from NYC.

I hope Jason spends 60 days in jail in North Carolina and not in some Laguna jail. Maybe he will be the reverse Ryan Atwood...

Britney may be the devil, but she's really quite irrelevant isn't she? Sienna Miller on the other hand, I'd 'shroom with her anytime...

No Oscars recap post? you ask and I say, snooze, snooze, what's that? Alan Arkin? Oh, ok, back to snoozing without wearing a bow tie Ellen DeGeneres style.

Hearing that Ashlee Simpson went home with a dude from the Neptunes makes me think she's trying to sleep her way to some cred. But hearing she tried R. Phillipe first suggests otherwise.

Reese is looking almost do-able with all those pounds shed. I just worry about getting gored by her chin.

Lots of Libby linked to Cheney's downfall talk, but we will never take down Dick. Never.

New Bloc Party in subject. Four or five great tunes, but not quite at the Silent Alarm level. Wish it was more Helicopter-like. Arcade Fire is sounding grandiose and awesome.

Also digging the North American Scum from LCD...

Shitshow

2007-02-22T02:33:00.000-05:00

This will be a rush job but where to begin?

Britney head shaving/rehab/tattoos/rehab/wig/K-Fed tussle/rehab > Anna Nicole right now.

Absolutely anything can happen with Britney and it wouldn't be a surprise. Meth? Check. Suicide attempts? Check. Crazy jealousy of her kids' nannies. Check.

K-Fed just has to kneel three times, run out the clock and collect his money. We're a long way from this SMS dumping and Halloween WeHo incident.

I'd like Britney to try some new music befitting her hairstyle. Punk, but you know, poppier. Let's bottom out in a big way right now with music too. Maybe hop in the studio with Yoko, do something experimental. It's Britney's lost weekend after all (which I guess means she should spend it away from Yoko).

---

Larry Birkhead > Howard K Stern right now.

The other Howard needs some good PR. Can't someone vouch for this guy? He's being characterized as weak and evil at the same time. That's brutal.

He lost to a two year old today! A 2 year old.

I love that the producers of of this real-life TV movie cast an emotional New Yorker as Judge. Anna (Vicki)'s Mom even fainted this week in a weak attempt to compete with Britney. They should end the movie with a good one-two of baby Daddy drama and murder/deaths solved L&O style (more SVU than CI I hope).

---

Celebs
Laura Dern, Elisabeth Shue, Colby Donaldson at Giorgio Baldi's.

Every year on Feb 15th like clockwork we get Laura Dern. Last year, it was at Pace. This year at Baldi's. I look forward to Feb 15 , '08 when we will meet again at at Matteo's in Westwood.

Could say we saw Davis Guggenheim of Inconvenient Truth fame a.k.a. Mr. Elisabeth Shue.

I'm sick of Colby D. He likes leather but was not with leather.

Hugh Laurie, Dennis Hopper at Chateau Marmont.

Dennis Hopper likes tea. Hugh Laurie is a dapper gent.

Micheal Chiklis at Little Next Door for brunch.

The Commish was there with his family but not Connie Selleca because she's with Tesh.

Ashlee Simpson at Nieman Marcus

Well, so we heard.

---

Pacman Jones + Nelly + J. Dupri + Strippers from Houston + $81K in a trash bag + "Visual effect" + Smashed Champagne bottles + Bitten strippers + Paralyzed bodyguards

= Didn't quite stay in Vegas did it?

----

Hilarious Caruso CSI Miami segments on the YouTube these days. Sunglasses segment is priceless. I mean, "what these sunglasses tell you is that some-BODY is afraid of the SUN."

----

Brothers Sheen gonna work it out with Susan King of LA Times over her hassling Charlie on his Emilio intro at the Globes... (from Defamer).

---

Late Night will get less funny and lamer with Jimmy Fallon replacing Conan. They would have been better off with any single person who has a show on Comedy Central, even Carlos Menicia.
----

Tremendous Thursday TV this week - The OC back to its primordial witty self-effacing late Season 1 roots (great piece in the Boston Globe about OC = Seth) and The Office - oh my!

----

I don't know what to do, I feel like shaving my head, but would rather be off to make it rain like Pacman Jones! Hey Pacman - "No means please don't. "
--

Conspiracy of Misogynists

2007-02-14T03:13:00.000-05:00

A lot has been made of 24's right wing tilt echoing the hard-right pro-torture, constitution-suspending politics of Bush (can't really say Republicans any more because of the climate change in DC, which apparently is the only place where climate is changing according to tonight's Daily Show expert).

However, the Surnow-critics have missed his obvious his misogyny. Monday's two-hour special was a chock-full of action and highlighted by the extraoridnary stupidity of two women - Missy Crider above as the girlfriend of a rogue nuclear arms dealer - and Rena Sofer (Jack's sister in law). These women could not be any dumber. Which makes me wonder what the actresses thought about playing these roles, unless they couldn't, because they are stupid.

Btw, who else is excited for Surnow's Fox News satirical 30 minute show where - get this - they plan to make fun of college students wearing Che t-shirts. Cultural zeitgeist here we come!!

---

Color me intrigued for: 1) The Hardy Men (in that - I really want to see it and then hate it - way because it stars the #2 star in the world and I don't mean Cruise) and 2) The first legit Enron movie from Leo himself adapted from Conspiracy of Fools (I expect a lot of outraged finger-pointing from the former pussy posse ringleader).

That is all, must prepare for elaborate Valentine's Day role-play.

Phantom Limb

2007-02-04T04:21:00.000-05:00

There's a sublime section of the new Shins song that I'm sure will eventually change someone's life.

Next post will cover the new Bloc Party.

---

I know people who love adult diapers think the Astronaut is a great yarn, but they're full of shit. I wonder if there's time to quickly re-edit the Astronaut's Wife?

Now Anna Nicole, THAT is a great yarn. She should aim higher than a reality show. It's got a great narrative. Humble upbringing, Playmate stardom, plus-size stardom, a stupefying May December of next year marriage for $1.6B, an outlandish reality show, an appearance at the Supreme Court, a quickie Bermuda marriage of questionable authenticity, mysterious death of her older son followed by a baby daddy mystery, court ordered-DNA test and culminating in her own untimely death in the unsavory locale of the other Hollywood. Wow!

Oddsmakers have taken suicide off the board now that records of previous attempts have come out. Trimspa reps are holding their breath I'm sure. I have seized one particularly tantalizing Chinatown II angle as the linchpin to the whole mystery - her dead son is her baby's daddy. That would explain two tragic deaths, the babby-daddy secrecy and pretty much everything except for Bobby Trendy.
---

I enjoyed that Prince halftime. No Darling Nikki but he did repay Dave Grohl by doing Best of You. Very dramatic performance of Purple Rain. I would have liked to see him throw down the gauntlet with JT in this whole sexy never left/who's taller battle they got going on. At least he asserted he has an interesting penis profile.

No love for Mr. Turkey Neck in the post-Super Bowl commercial roundup? I enjoyed that commercial. I think Mr. Turkey Neck could have done a better job than Grossman at QB as well.

--

And the celebs...

James Marsden at Katsuya in Studio City. Scruffy and with some sort of manager/agent type.

So you know I love the couple fights. I wish there was an all couple-fight channel on the TV. We could tuck it right behind Fox Reality Channel and Discovery Times. The more mundane the fight the better - "How many times did I tell you to bring an umbrella?" - Witnessed a great one outside the apartment the other morning. Guy in a hat standing in front of his car (Mercedes C series) with the girl standing head-cocked nearly expresionless as the dude went crazy on you. Yes, unusual to see the tables turned with excitable boy gesticulating wildly and the taciturn girl occasionally saying something truly provocative to get my guy fired up. Can you tell I spent a while watching? Fascinating...

So...in related celebrity news, was walking out for a pedestrian Saturday night date with the #1 Fan right here in the neighborhood and while checking out Toscana encountered a mustachioed man on bended knee tending to his wife who in turn was tending to a glass of red wine. A little unusual, an outdoor tete a tete with adult beverages? Naturally, as a lover of couple fights, I was intrigued. Make that double-intrigued as I immediately recognized famed wifebeater Josh Brolin and his too good to be true wife Diane Lane. Have always been a big Diane Lane fan (since the Outsiders and especially since Coppola's masterpiece, Jack which also broke J-Lo). She looked great. I'm sure she was in the right in the fight.

Also caught David Duchovny running some errands on San Vicente on the SM/B'Wood border. Not wearing a jean shirt this time thankfully, so the #1 Fan's eyes did not burn.

---
Lovely pics of Denise Richards enjoying some nose candy and just to ensure it made it the internets she also flashed some labia. Well-done. And here I was giving all the credit for her top Hollywood body to her trainer!

US Weekly is run by Cameron crazies. "How Jessica STOLE Justin" is the latest headline. Stole? Who was in possession of Justin at the time? He's been single for at least a month, probably longer. There as now stealing. Jessie Biel was with Derek Jeter more recently. How did JT swing that? Nice little one-two for J. Biel.

US didn't stop there, they also ran a poll where they asked their "readers" if Cameron was right to wig out and scream at Justin for flirting with Jessica Biel. This brough to mine Wayne Campbell and Stacey, "Just because we are broken up doesn't mean we can't see each other." "Actually, yes it does Stacey. That's what breaking up is." I encourage all the lame US Weekly Cameron crazies to read and reconsider their votes. Tramashamockery.

Meant to comment on this earlier, but how annoying is this whole Salma/Penelope bff bullshit? Salma pumping her first while reading the nominees? She's overrated. Who wants a 5'1" mistress?

---

So Britney apparently has had multiple multiple f-on-f dalliances and Christina spends Sundays naked (both on BricksandStones).

Where have you gone 1999?

---
She's clearly a real tough cookie with a long history, but Nikki Reed still doesn't qualify for Ryan Phillippe given the governing law of divide by 2 plus 7 (she's only 18).

Still, I would like to thank them for ruining Winston's in Weho just minutes after Indie103's #1 enemy Joe Escalante ruined Bar Lubitsch with the help of LA.com.

---

If the Clips can get some shooting guard help, then I would endorse a Maggette trade...

---

Police tour deets tomorrow. Will it be Coachella plus small venues or the $150 a seat Staples Center route?

Frankly, I'm more interested in Tokyo Police Club than the Police.
--

My best friend's a butcher he has sixteen knives

2007-02-01T02:41:00.001-05:00

Friday Coachella > Sunday Coachella mostly due to Interpol, but Les Flics are looming.

Passed right by Sally Struthers on my way into seeing Letter from Iwo Jima at The Grove. I gave her 79 cents, not to save a kid, but for another donut. Yeah, she's fat!

Thought that the Letters would be boring and at first they were, but eventually the film turns into a meditation on values - not just a war movie - and even if it was not surprising, it was really well-made and um, you know, what's the word? Moving. I was moved.

Sienna Miller should have her own weekly tabloid. Swearing on TV (Today show), hitting the bars in Shittsburgh, PA and even laying Darth Gayden (for real? per Idontlikeyouinthatway.com). At least she looks nice in the naughty bits of Factory Girl (is there more to it than that?).

Departed sequel seems inevitable. Movie made big bucks, original Hong Kong flick had a sequel and a prequel. Interesting that the murder spree at the end of Departed makes a sequel tougher, but Wahlberg is still kicking say the trades and the De Niro prospect seems like a plant to get studio greenlight. Fascinating nonetheless.

Studio60 is a lot more palatable if you skip the hackneyed Sorkin retread parts and then the parts involving characters that are smug and also some of the parts that are predictable. I pretty much only like scenes with Steven Weber. About 6 minutes each week. Should be over at the end of this season.

Am excited for a few of the new pilots for next season like the Jason Bourne sitcom from Josh Schwartz.

Gracious in defeat as always, Marcel at least owned up that Sam created his third dish and even though Food and Wine told us Ilan won, I think Sam blew it last week by being too safe. He was the best. The #1 Fan thinks so. She told me to say that.

Brody is cheesy as hell and Lauren knows it, but he's got the looks and that's all that matters. And not just to Lauren, but also to Kristen, Nichole and now...LiLo (hollywoodrag.com). Spencer on the other hand...sucks. Heidi can do better and quite obviously her ill will is misdirected at Audrina. Next week, looks like he gets his comeuppance.

Speaking of the Devil Wears Prada, apparently Anne Hathaway apparently wears lesbian clothing (clever eh?) with Emily Blunt. I guess it makes her slightly more interesting, but she still seems pretty dull.

Speaking of dull, Jennifer Garner's new movie looks godawful as you would expect. The only way it could be redeemed was if it was a Sidney Bristow character rom-com. Now, Because I Said So, that's a rom-com with edge! And bite! Grr.

I like Willibuns' pink (ok, coral) shirt, I think he's clean and nice-looking and I like the Bears...at least to cover.

Call me a half glass full kind of guy...

My best friend's a butcher he has sixteen knives

2007-02-01T02:41:00.000-05:00

Friday Coachella > Sunday Coachella mostly due to Interpol, but Les Flics are looming.

Passed right by Sally Struthers on my way into seeing Letter from Iwo Jima at The Grove. I gave her 79 cents, not to save a kid, but for another donut. Yeah, she's fat!

Thought that the Letters would be boring and at first they were, but eventually the film turns into a meditation on values - not just a war movie - and even if it was not surprising, it was really well-made and um, you know, what's the word? Moving. I was moved.

Sienna Miller should have her own weekly tabloid. Swearing on TV (Today show), hitting the bars in Shittsburgh, PA and even laying Darth Gayden (for real? per Idontlikeyouinthatway.com). At least she looks nice in the naughty bits of Factory Girl (is there more to it than that?).

Departed sequel seems inevitable. Movie made big bucks, original Hong Kong flick had a sequel and a prequel. Interesting that the murder spree at the end of Departed makes a sequel tougher, but Wahlberg is still kicking say the trades and the De Niro prospect seems like a plant to get studio greenlight. Fascinating nonetheless.

Studio60 is a lot more palatable if you skip the hackneyed Sorkin retread parts and then the parts involving characters that are smug and also some of the parts that are predictable. I pretty much only like scenes with Steven Weber. About 6 minutes each week. Should be over at the end of this season.

Am excited for a few of the new pilots for next season like the Jason Bourne sitcom from Josh Schwartz.

Gracious in defeat as always, Marcel at least owned up that Sam created his third dish and even though Food and Wine told us Ilan won, I think Sam blew it last week by being too safe. He was the best. The #1 Fan thinks so. She told me to say that.

Brody is cheesy as hell and Lauren knows it, but he's got the looks and that's all that matters. And not just to Lauren, but also to Kristen, Nichole and now...LiLo (hollywoodrag.com). Spencer on the other hand...sucks. Heidi can do better and quite obviously her ill will is misdirected at Audrina. Next week, looks like he gets his comeuppance.

Speaking of the Devil Wears Prada, apparently Anne Hathaway apparently wears lesbian clothing (clever eh?) with Emily Blunt. I guess it makes her slightly more interesting, but she still seems pretty dull.

Speaking of dull, Jennifer Garner's new movie looks godawful as you would expect. The only way it could be redeemed was if it was a Sidney Nash character rom-com. Now, Because I Said So, that's a rom-com with edge! And bite! Grr.

I like Willibuns' pink (ok, coral) shirt, I think he's clean and nice-looking and I like the Bears...at least to cover.

Call me a half glass full kind of guy...

Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

2007-01-24T01:41:00.000-05:00

So I guess this news means that I don't have to go see Dreamgirls. Thank God.

Coachella announcement was more exciting. I think this puts Letters from Iwo Jima on the must see list but the rest is the same, Pan's Labyrinth, Children of Men, Little Children plus some of the docs and foreign language pics.

Early oddsmakers have Departed in front, Babel second, but The Queen had a lot of action as the dark-horse. The Queen seems too small, uptight and...well, British. Plus, the movie is a trifle (ha! that deserves an Alf laugh). Even Scorcese says The Departed is just a genre flick. Little Miss didn't get a Director nod so it lacks widespread support and a Japanese-language movie that nobody has seen can't do it. My pick for now: Babel - so big, ambitious, visceral, messy, predictable and overdetermined, but has the air of being important and political all the while being quite contemporary with the whole globalization thing.

At least it's not as annoying as Crash.

---

I'd forgotten how much I hate that smug self-serving Studio 60. It's such a pleasure to watch and hate.

If that new chick is supposed to be the new "pretty girl" couldn't they have actually got a pretty girl to play her?

--

Watching U2 Classic Albums - Joshua Tree right now. Daniel Lanois breaking down the layers of tracks into song 2, side 1. Edge playing the guitar outro on With or Without You. Brian Eno singing doo-wop tunes. It's almost surreal how serious of a music show this is and that it airs on cable and VH-1 no less. Amazing stuff.

--

Apparently, Zach Braff is depressed. Awesome.

No wonder he keeps making movies where he is feeling melancholy and lost and sad and sets it to some indie music.

--

Still can't believe my guys aren't going to Miami.

--

Still can't believe more guys are going into the shit.

This is not toward!

2007-01-23T03:26:00.000-05:00

This is such bullshit. Kaitlin (Willa Holland) has made out in a closet with a gay character, traipsed around in a bikini in multiple episodes and has even been dangled as sexual bait to Arab princes.

However, when she develops an heartfelt romance with a band geek - who happens to be black - the chickenshit Fox network won't even show them peck each other on the cheek! Interracial is still taboo. Will Smith never kisses a white chick and even the OC has no balls as it recedes into irrelevance.

I hope this show accelerates into oblivion and dies a quick death. A perfect opportunity to become relevant...wasted.

Fuck you OC.

----

On the other hand, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and 30 Rock - although uneven - creates a fervid anticipation each week for another memorable Tivo replay moment. Baldwin's Globe win is deserved, but his speech was lame. Actually, most of the Globes were lame and so were most speeches. Cannot think of a single memorable one. Well, ok, I guess a speech about a "rancid bubble" in someone's ass - excuse me, arse - is memorable. Otherwise, ho-hum. So yeah, Babel won, but I don't think that means it will win again.

Anyway...

30 Rock's "This is untoward...this is not toward" was priceless.

"My name is Liz Lemon. I wear men's shirts. I like to skateboard," was up there as well.

Tracy Morgan playing a sketch show superstar on 30 Rock > Tracy Morgan as a moderately succesful sketch show player on SNL

--

The Office seeming to phase out ALL of the Stamford people is distressing. Andy's rivalry is Dwight is too good to ditch. Same for the girls. We need them.

---

Sports are dead to me...for two weeks. Thisclose to four Super Bowls, exorcising the painful memories of Super Bowl XX and achieving immortality as a dynasty...

---

Promised you celeb sightings...picked up two at work this week at nearly the exact same spot too: 1) J-Lo sauntering in and looking mighty fine. She's regular sized. 2) Spielberg tooling down the road, looking wealthy.

--

Coachella three-day lineup is a whopper as usual, but three days just is a lot of time in the desert. Keyed up for many artists but not for the Bjork and Red Hot Chilis. Eager to see Rage but skeptical about their reunion as a whole.

Will Chris Cornell feel betrayed like Sammy Hagar?

Some kind of alien is coming over me

---

My weekly Hills rant: Spencer is such a sleazy, lame guy. I wish Heidi was pregnant and the show either became about her getting an abortion or about them raising a kid together. That would be awesome. Better than the extended self-promotion, brand promotion and product placement vehicle the show is for all the personalities, Brent Bolthouse, Teen Vogue and Brody fucking Jenner.

--

NYT getting very trashy tabloid-y today with stories about: i) Angelina's fall from public opinion pedestal via Ryan Seacrest inane q's ii) A story about Grey's Anatomy-pile of sticks controversy and iii)One other mindless tabloid topic that made it to the old gray lady. It's the thinking man's US Weekly without the pictures!

I just wish they would report on Barack and Hillary this way.

---

Joe Escalante on Indie 103.1 has become more and more unbearable as the host of the morning show. Unfunny and always plugging his own fucking band. I hate him. I want Timothy Olyphant to bring the cast of Deadwood onto the show and kill that motherfucking cocksucker!

(pretty good Swearingen no?)

---

Colbert vs. Papa Bear O'Reilly didn't really stack up did it?

---

Oscar noms in a few hours...stay by your phones....I'm off to rehab to get over the media's James Dean /James Franco obsession.

My heart's aflame my body's strained but God I like it

2007-01-15T18:43:00.000-05:00

Bit of a transition period for this junkie, but what did I miss?

Britney is dating down again after falling down on New Year's (predictably, US editors are prepping the "comeback" stories where she cleans up, loses weight and focuses on her kids), LiLo has herpes (a statistical inevitability), Jared Leto has become a music star (the way Catalano's punk band never could after Rae-Ann whiffed onstage), Becks and Posh move stateside (but are still irrelevant), John Mayer and Jessica Simpson making beautifully bland music together (I guess he's an upgrade over Adam Levine although his music also makes my ears bleed. At least the public is wise to this pairing), JT finally realizes that his girlfriend is the fugliest (if all women voted in a top 25 like poll he's an easy top 5 choice from the young pop idol's conference), and Jessica Biel has become a Yankee fan (ew).

I feel like a cliche to even complain, but I winced when I saw on Dr. Emmett Brown shilling for DirecTV.

I'm not sure why Keeley Hazell is famous but her latest video should help...

As a meager one-man show I can't put on a full best of '06 but here are some music faves:

TV On the Radio, Return to Cookie Mountain
Gnarls Barkley, St. Elsewhere
Decemberists, Crane Wife
Mew, And the Glass Handed Kites
Margot and the Nuclear So and So's, The Dust of Retreat
The Raconteurs, Broken Boy Soliders (especially the title track)
The Rapture, Pieces of the People We Love

And some stuff that I was supposed to like but didn't really care for:

Ys by Joanna Newsom
Love by The Beatles
Cold War Kids
Snow Patrol

Although, I'm a lot more excited about the next few months with new Shins, Bloc Party and Arcade Fire coming out...

Dedicated readers already know my TV list (Office, Wire, 30 Rock etc) so here are the movies: The Departed, Last King of Scotland, Casino Royale, Little Miss Sunshine, Miami Vice, Borat, and Babel so far...pending United 93, Letters from Iwo Jima, Half Nelson and Pan's Labyrinth. I'll get to them by Oscar time.

Tonight, the Golden Globes' oddsmakers favor Babel, but I like The Departed. They also favor Dreamgirls and I concur on that one. Leo has good chances, but seems like Forest Whitaker and of course Helen Mirren. It's really more about the outfits tonight anyway...

If the Pats imitating Merriman's dance is classless, what do we make of Merriman's dance itself? LdT going all postmodern on us with his questioning of the mimetic meaning of dance. Scoreboard is the appropriate retort methinks.

Tried to find Owen Wilson, but he and Wes Anderson were holed up in Udaipur planning their next fantastic voyage, so not a lot of celebs in Hong Kong and Delhi but promise to deliver double next time.

Did enjoy a moment at a crowded Delhi intersection where a guy hawking magazines with Miss Nevada's photo (from below) came right up to the #1 Fan and I.

I told him 2007 was the year of the PH and rolled up the window. I look forward to purchasing a pirated copy of Vikram Chanda's 900 page modern India insta-classic Sacred Games from this independent proprietor or one of his friends sometime next year.

Have Mercy!

2006-12-23T23:17:00.000-05:00

Lori Laughlin at the Paper Source today in Beverly Hills.

Still getting it done.

You never would have thought she had twins about 12 years ago with Uncle Jesse.

I totally don't know what that means but I want it

2006-12-21T22:53:00.000-05:00

This photo is not in 1080i.

Miss Nevada getting it done.

Btw, Rosie > the Donald on that Tara Conner stuff one.

I'm looking forward to the tear-jerking stories of lost personal effects in the Evangeline Lilly Hawaii fire. Here's to a hope-filled putting the pieces back together interview in an upcoming issue of People.

The Saints backed into a division title. Which means they'll get one home playoff game. Which means that somewhere an associate sports producer is cutting the inevitable "Saints are Marching" intro with U2 and Green Day doing their thing. I think it'll be pretty awesome.

You know how sometimes you'll see someone in a public place listening to their iPod and kind of rocking out and you wonder what they're listening to and maybe you try to sneak a glance at the display? Thank God nobody did that earlier today when I was guilty of toe tapping to Heart's Never. Yeah...Heart...80's Heart.

Which leads me to VH-1's Classic in Concert series featuring Heart. Long on 70's Heart, short on 80's Heart (and thankfully no 90's Heart where one night of love was all we knew...). While we all know about Ann Wilson, how about Nancy Wilson still getting it done? Impressive work Mrs. Cameron Crowe.

VH-1's Classic Albums series is unlike most programming found on the MTV Networks. You know, because it's actually about music. In a serious way. We're talking time signatures, multi-track recording and David Fricke serious. Breaking down Dark Side of the Moon was some fascinating stuff. Setting the clocks to go off in sequence, little interviews with the insane, they go deep inside. Maybe this I'm With Rolling Stone series will turn MTV onto music again with its Almost Famous premise.

Light-week celebrity wise: Sat down right next to a very well-preserved Diane Keaton at a kiddie birthday party at Amici in Brentwood. The #1 Fan would also like to report an Andy Dick sighting while warding off unwanted advances from a member of the Dropkick Murphys at a party at Memphis in Hollywood.

So The Queen is a really well-made well-acted and interesting flick, but who gives a fuck about the subtly shifting position of the monarchy in modern England? I'd much rather see the Path to 9/11 Brit-equivalent than imaginary dialogue between Prince Phillip and the Queen's top aide.

Haven't done the best of 2006 yet, but will certainly nominate Michael Scott marking the Benihana waitress (although interestingly it is not the same Cindy from earlier in the ep). It may be a more honest and meaningful nomination than the fucking Golden Globes. Nominating 10 movies as Best Picture is a cop-out but leaving The Wire off of the TV nominations is a fucking joke. Someone is juking the stats over there...

From the working from home files: Transporter 2 had some of the amazing fight sequences I've ever seen but shaky story logic and realism. Double Indemnity...still a classic. Teen Wolf only came off the shelf after Back to the Future blew up...and I now realize why.

The QView has it right, Pursuit of Happyness is a movie of the week. Sappy sentimental bullshit.

Merry Christmas!

We are the sons of no one...

2006-12-05T21:55:00.000-05:00

- Obsessing over The Decembrists album at the moment. Crane Wife #3. Very good.

- Re-listening to my atmospheric friends Mew. Very good.
- Cannot say the same for the new Magic Numbers. Booring. So, new Magic Numbers sounds and looks exactly the same as old up-tempo hirsute harmonizers. They still haven't taken the Kirstie Alley bikini challenge either.

- So, apparently we are "neither losing nor winning" in Iraq but everyone thinks we can't keep doing what we're doing because that's really bad. Even Rummy thinks so. I think that's why the Daily Show producer quit too.

- After 8 trips over 4 days to 4 different Wolf / Ritz / Kits Camera locations I can safely report that: a) They are not the most reliable, b) Getting minimum wage pimply high school kids to develop precious engagement photos is not much better by having their "managers" do it c) Wedding plan is fun.

- In related news, I am considering declaring my intent to court, squire and bed the newly single comely lass: Miss Rachel Bilson. But, I'd like her to eat some donuts first. The #1 Fan is also very sad to note the passing of her favorite celeb couple.

- Bottom-feeding on celebs this week: Colby from Survivor 2 and Gillette commercials and lead security guy in the movie Red Eye at my local Ralph's. Looks the same even without Jerri around to tease and flirt. And another low-effort spotting of Kurt Fuller of the new show Big Day at my gym. Skinny legs. And Joe Regalbuto of Murphy Brown fame at the Montana Holiday Walk on Friday sampling the fancy wares at the boutiques but not indulging in the open container free-for-all.

Btw, your welcome for this week's special beefcake edition of photos with Regalbuto and Fuller.

- So Britney is following up the free show with thinly-veiled blind items suggesting she's on the cocaine and dallying with girl-on-girl with Paris. Girlfriend, why don't you spread it out over 3-4 US Weekly covers? Blowing it all at once doesn't pay. Look at Denise Richards. She's got bad hair, is barely famous anymore and can't pay for her own upkeep from what I hear.

- Lovely Jessica Simpson sucks video here:http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/

- Real World Denver would be a lot better on Skinimax. Whoa.

- The Laguna Beach calendar available for sale at your local retail outlets features my girl Lexie but also a ridiculous cover photo of the guys and a totally fake 90210-ripoff bikini photo shoot with oodles of apocryphal laughter. That's right, I'm complaining about the faux-ness of this ultra-real reality show.

- Finally got around to seeing that Bond flick. Wow. Slowed down towards the end with the sappy romantic beats and the weak-ish final takedown of the boss-man, but if you start at the top of a developing nation skyscraping construction project only appropriate you finish up at the bottom of Western civ's canal. Understand it was necessary to show how Bond got his harsh distrustful interior to complement his already Alligator-skin veneer. Whatevs. Still loved it.

- Re-watching Living Daylights. While I like Dalton..boo. Somehow, even older flicks like Goldfinger and Diamonds are Forever hold up better than this one although I did enjoy the cello-case border crossing and of course listening to one of a-ha's top hits.

- So VW2's Rise of Taj really didn't but at least Kalpen Modi from New Jersey got a fancy producer credit and still has Kumar 2 and Namesake and 24 around the bend. That's a heady mix considering other South Asians are showing up on The Papdits (rejected CBS pilot avail online), The Office (writer for My Name is Earl and on the Diwali ep), Heroes, McD and Cingular commercials plus E-to-the-m'fin-R with "other chick" from Bend it like Becks.

I am folding it like a man!

2006-11-27T23:08:00.000-05:00

What do you get when you combine the PH's robust readership with the expansive following for The Wire?

About one person interested in the following (short!) musings...

Will Omar really take down Marlo and hold it over Joe's head? I hope so, but then that'll sort of damage Lester's investigation won't it?

I hope Rawls gets his shit together and makes a play for Commissioner. Boring if Daniels gets it.

Also, am I the only one who has trouble thinking of anyone on the show as an actor? Only Dominic West's McNulty's Mona Lisa smiling beatwalker jars me into realizing this isn't a documentary.

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No way to "juke the stats" on Studio 60 although I did enjoy M. Perry's character saying "he's serious about comedy" and capturing the meta-commentary about his ridiculously serious show. Five dead in Gross Pointe? What the fuck? I would take the serious-ness if it was plated in the 1970s and served alongside a tasty sidedish of drug addiction and compulsive bed-hopping even if they did have to cast a Laraine Newman look-alike.

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Eastern Europe is hot now. How do I know?

Well, you got that funny looking dude racking up miles on airlines with his Citicard with his forced to be funny flexible friend and then you've got that cabbie who insist I am folding it like a man! to that pushy Mercedes Ruehl-like broad sitting in his cab.

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Saw The Rapture last Monday at the Henry Fonda. Sounded real good, even better than on the outstanding record. They were high pop loud dancy fun. I also enjoyed the rave-like DJ'ing and drumming of The Presets. I highly recommend both.
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Have so many people ever cared about a do-nothing celebrity - Nicole Ritchie - firing her drug hookup / stylist?

I still don't.

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From the working at home files:

Diamonds are Forever theme song has been totally stolen by Kanye. I only have eyes and ears for the Kanye + Jay-Z version. Not only that, the tune serves as a pop cultural bridge between Diamonds are Forever and Blood Diamond. Again, only the Jay-Z version.

Finally, Jill St. John was a babe...

Heaven Can Wait is a shit movie. How did that get 9 fucking nominations? Warren Beatty really did rule Hollywood in the 70s. Tell me this, did he actually get people to believe that Julie Christie was attractive? The whole premise of the movie breaks down when that shrew with fuzzy hair walks into Farnsworth's office. Charles Grodin is funny though.

A leisurely HD viewing of The Age of Innocence confirms that it truly deserves to be called a "sumptuous visual feast."

Why don't they make a War Room style documentary for each election? Fascinating but sycophantic portrait of Stephanopoulos and Carville. Would like to see the Hillary version or the version where Rudy's "red-hot" campaign implodes when people realize he's a philandering despotic non-Republican.
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Did I see Ryan O'Neal again this week?

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HD-viewing frenzy carried me over to Discovery and Animal Planet last week. Apparently, animals run wild and all sorta hang out together on the savannahs of Kenya like some colorful cast of a Disney movie. Also, giraffes have tiny brains but really strong legs, strong enough to kill a lion with swift kick. All that said, lions in the jungle and bears in the forest are at the top of my Power Rankings. Not so much in the NFL where I don't either one will win a playoff game. Hope the Pats fare better. Think they can, not sure theywill.
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The Elusive Fan is out on Amazon. Know two authors from prior grad school days. Intrigued by the notion of revitalizing fan involvement. Check it out here: theelusivefan.com

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What is wrong with TK on MNF << style="font-weight: bold;">J. Kimmel on MNF >> J. Kimmel anywhere else...

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And of course, the celebs...

Day after turkey, went out in Hollywood and sat down right next to "Jillian's friend Lindsay, at the Chateau." Yes, LiLo in all her cut-wristed glory. Amazingly, I can confidently report that she did not have sex with anyone during the 40 minutes she next to me.

Looking raccoonish, texting uncontrollably and ultimately retreating to her room after some other patrons "kept looking at her." Before leaving she did make the aforementioned call, sounded like a delivery no? I'd like to meet this Jillian. Other convo topics included praise for the Killers (eww) and an obscure Sinatra bootleg (online only) and some talk of Paris.

Who could have known that that tabloid diva orbit would tilt into alignment over the next two days resulting in a sure-fire US Weekly cover story on the three-headed tabloid monster of Brit/LiLo/Paris all hanging out together (and eventually letting it all hang out).

Btw, I think I may skip wearing panties to work tomorrow. You gotta believe that Brit intended to show off her scarred stubbly nether region on the Sunday night outing but alas, she hasn't sculpted away all that pesky thigh fat, so we didn't get the money shot. So yesterday, Brit finished the job, taking no chances by flapping her lips right into the paparazzi's flashbulb popping eye. If you wish to blind yourself, look here: http://www.celebnewswire.com/2006/11/britney_spears_7.html. Perhaps we've graduated into advanced PR calculus with the advent of the beaver flash.

Certainly, Beaver flash * Modest Weight Loss = Fit mother doesn't work.
But maybe, Beaver flash * Modest Weight Loss = Bringing sexy back?

Brit must hope so. Did she ever a new PR guy?

I can't wait until the US Weekly matching quiz with photos of Brit/PH/LiLo and their private parts.

Back to the Chateau, moved past drinks to some apps and encountered Reese Witherspoon and Selma Blair's Cruel Intentions cast young divorcee club meeting. Sarah Michelle Gellar sent her regrets but will eventually show up for their discussion of whether to wear underwear next time they are out. The #1 fan had a giggle with Reese in the ladies room. Reese's hair is long, she is very short. Selma Blair is my kinda gal.

What would the Chateau be without the Olsen twins and poof (or boom if you're a Madden guy) and there they were. Introducing themselves to some fellow named Justin as I sauntered past to get some dessert. Ashley had a hideous dark dyed goth look going but then I remembered she's sort of in college so I gave her a pass.

Even after leaving the Chateau, somehow managed to continue to have a night out on the Aaron Sorkin-approved stretch of Sunset between Doheny and Highland. Ended up at the Sunset strip's singles-heavy reality TV dumping ground Saddleranch and the place delivered with i) loose forward women (now the #1 fan knows I still got it) ii) simulated sex on the bucking bronco (fine if you don't know the girl on it, awkward if she's your soon-to-be-sister-in-law) and iii) Cyrus from Real World Boston wearing a sequin-studded backward white baseball cap.

Hit the Lake show on Sunday at Staples Center. The stars come out for the dramatically lit court (major contrast with the Clippers who light the whole arena) and caught Kevin Connolly as well as Matthew Perry (looks exactly as you'd expect) down in the fancy part of the massive complex (work tickets you see).

The #1 Fan also reported some big sightings down at Pro Gym: Julia Roberts and David Duchovny. Julia apparently is "really pretty in a natural way" in real life. Have also had this report from another PH correspondent in the past. And thus, with two unconfirmed blog sources, this becomes a journalistic fact.

Life in the blogosphere is good.

If I Just Lay Here....

2006-11-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

...then perhaps you can cut my throat when that fucking Snow Patrol song comes on again. This horrible tripe serves as an aural reminder that Snow Patrol are indeed the 00s version of the Goo Goo Dolls. I can't believe I was bilked by these "indie" poseurs three years ago.

This lapse in judgment harkens back to when I seriously miscalculated how cool Sponge were gonna be back in 1995.

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For Your Consideration...isn't. But the forthcoming pun-filled reviews and headlines...are.

The steady decline of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries (from Guffman down to this) reaches a new low with this serious misfire. The funny seemed to lie in precise skewering of quirky subcultures like community theater, competitive dog shows and aging folkies. Maybe these sendups worked because they went after small eccentric targets, but taking on Hollywood (quirky: maybe, small: no) may have doomed it from the outset. Furthermore, the story doesn't ring true to the familiar rhthym of awards' seasons and celebrity culture. We don't even get an Oscar night scene!

Left once I heard my girl Parker was not going come by for Q&A but on my way out did run into Fred Willard, Harry Shearer, Jennifer Coolidge and co. as they came in for the affirmation-fest that followed. Fred Willard is funny. I'd like to see him with a bigger role.

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The #1 Fan is on probation this week since I caught her skimming(!) the last post and missing my baby cuteness cleverness (apparently #1 fan is "busy" these days...). Another week of skimming and the PH will hold auditions for a new #1 from a major conference who plays a tougher schedule.

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Slater was the better dancer, but Emmitt is more likeable (he didn't cheat on his fiancee during his b-party and he never wore Z-Cavariccis on TV).

She had to back Murtha after what he did for everyone. Both of them have great politician names. Steny Hoyer almost sounds made up.

I like Michigan in the big one. To cover.

I hope the Pats bounce back.

I almost have D-Mat fever.

I eagerly anticipate The Rise of Taj, my favorite bad little Badlamabad althought I'm surprised it earned a theatrical release. Behold the power of Macaca! And Diwali!

Leading me to wonder: VW2 > Namesake?

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B. Flowers sounds like a complete jackass in complaining about Green Day singing American Idiot in the UK. Let's hope he was misquoted or taking a page from the Gallagher bros. and trying to start a rivalry to generate good pub.

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Last night's Gilmore Girls: more melodramatic bullshit that undermines five (ok, maybe four) seasons of avoiding tripe TV drama conventions. bring back the banter and the GIRLS.

Last night's Laguna: why won't Cameron just cry? Ok, that's silly. Almost as silly as Jessica hanging around school for two years after graduating and ostensibly doing nothing. I'm confused by Kelan. Isn't he in the band? Why did he choose college over chasing chicks with Chase? So convenient for Chase that he happened to be spend 13 weeks on MTV promoting his band before getting a record deal. Smarter than trying to do it the Talan way...
Kristin and Jason is not a good match. Man, I could go on and on about this unforgettable "crew." Instead, let's focus on the upcoming season of soft-core girl-on-girl hookups and threesomes, uh, I mean Real World: Denver! Well, the Real World cast is who we thought they were. They are who we thought they were!

Monday's Studio 60 made me really want to delete the show from the DVR, but I prefer to watch each episode, groan for 48 minutes and then write about how much I hate this lame self-righteous ridiculously serious self-aggrandizing show. Oh how I wish the gay street toughs had actually homophobe-based the utterly dull Sarah Paulson!!!

Working from home means I can tell you that Fantastic Four is fucking terrible movie about lame superheroes with poorly articulated powers. I can also report that upon a second viewing, I kind of liked French Kiss. Is there a new Meg Ryan around? Nevermind that she dresses like a teenage boy for most of that movie. Broken Flowers is no Ghost Dog but I still liked it.

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$100M for Britney sex tape seems like too much no? That's more money than Borat has made so far!

Defamer had it right with the whole Cruise protected by Oscar shields Redford and Streep headline.

Jeff Zucker may take over for Bob Wright this year at the helm of NBCU says the NY Post. I hope that doesn't mean too much.

I will look at your treasures...

2006-11-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

Borat is the zeitgeist?

1. Willfully agree to be filmed.
2. Voluntarily consume copious amounts of alcohol.
3. Enter confined space with freakishly large (in many ways, how about that black box!) journalist and his cameraman.
4. Make revealing homo-race-sex remarks while sitting/standing 3 to 4 feet from camera.
5. Sue the shit out of Borat.

At least the humor writer "smelled a rat"...NOT!

Defamer has the anti-Borat wrap-up but I'm too lazy to link at the moment.

Not the funniest flick ever made, but still funny and reassuring in its elitism (targets: redneck frat boys, conservative southern christians, rodeo honkys, black hookers and old-school feminists).

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The Scissor Sisters, I Don't Feel Like Dancin' could be huge song if it was pimped like 'Our Country and if the group were not named after a lurid lesbian sexual position.

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I'm hoping those large looming Wall Street bonuses will result in some windfall for the PH. Perhaps it will enliven the dormant spirit of tourista. Either that big check will, or perhaps the upcoming release of the Hostel-ripoff movie Turistas.

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When they finish can one of the PH faithful just tell me what happened on The Nine? I've officially broken up with it, but cannot find someone who can just tell me how those crazy victimized kids are doing. I just want them to be happy, you know?

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Count me and the #1 fan among those who are irked by the slow dribble of plodding plotting progress on Lost. The death of Mr. Eko is not enough. So many strains to pick up (Jesus-like soothsayer, electromagnetic pulses, Red Sox World Series footage) and so little movement. Announce a 5th and final season of this "round" of Lost and then be done with it. 24 knows that.

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The Daily Show + Colbert Report election coverage was really a big f-you to the west coast no? At least throw us a special half-hour live? Three hours old stale coverage. Boo. Other than that, it was a lovely Tuesday, thanks.

I fear '08 field not looking so good.

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Some say Macaca stirring the political voices of South Asians (he even penned a lame op-ed in the Washington Post) in Virgina was credible encouraging evidence of relevance, I say that Diwali Office episode and Michael's song were fucking hilarious markers of social progress.

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Look, Ryan and Reese was an obvious one. Reese Movie Payday > 15 Ryan Movie Paydays. If Ryan were a closeted Neil Patrick Harris-type, then maybe they stay in play, but otherwise the gender pay gap predictor prevails.

Brit and K-Fed has similar logic. Emasculated in his career efforts, Restricted in his abilities to go out and "love the ladies" by his allowance-giver and Tapped out in the seed-giving aspects of masculinity after making 4 babies with 2 baby-mommas. So there's pretty much no man left. Still, there's something gleeful about seeing him fail so spectacularly.

I'm waiting for the backlash to end and the comeback to begin, followed closely by false rumors of a reconciliation...

Sports Gal says, Justin and Cam are her favorite celeb couple? I do hear that they enjoy spending high times together, but otherwise, Cam brings them down. Boo.

I say David Arquette and Courtney, because he seems like a giant goofball screw-up but is still married. Admittedly, they play a "soft" schedule as a couple since they are basically retired, so from the BCS-rated couples making tabloid appearances: I'd nominate Adam Brody/Rachel Bilson in the homebody category and BenGar in the "ok, we're pretty dull and enjoy starring in relatively pedestrian somewhat lame and small-minded projects and even though we are tabloid-wary we still are out and about because we know our kid is even cuter than kingston rossdale despite having an inferior name" group.

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On to the celebs:

1) Sweet Dee and Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philly hanging out together and looking amazingly like themselves from the show. On Sawtelle near Shabu Shabu.

2) A large somewhat puffy and always squinty-eyed David Caruso getting his anti-jew on at Borat in the Valley on Friday

3) And ol' reliable, Ryan O'Neal, outside Duttons right here in Brentwood last Thursday AM. T-shirt tucked into khaki plaid shorts and ranting about some woman in his life (Tatum? Farrah?)

4) Didn't see them but I do enjoy "the google" and in-between a busy day of fielding calls for LA 2016 I can also report some other common B'wood spottings and 90049 residents: Harrison Ford, Julie Andrews, Sally Field and Jim Carrey.

Congrats to the Santa Clara 49'ers and Fremont A's and SF 2016.

Could've Been...

2006-11-03T15:37:00.000-05:00

Special no-pix quickie edition---

Saw Bobby last night at the PDC. Still sorting through it, but was ultimately disappointed. I "dig" the idea and the look of the film (colors, outfits etc) but the moving parts of the flick are the newsreel "Bobby goes to Appalachia and musses up the hair of poor white kid" bits. Does that credit really accrue to the movie?

Heavy-handed and didactic from the get-go with the title cards and then some seriously sappy speeches by LiLo, Nick Cannon (sweet hair!) and several others. We get it, there was hope, and then Sirhan Sirhan killed it. And a lot of things ended that day. And things end, people age, hotels are demolished and replaced by LAUSD schools and war is divisive. It's all in my paper due Friday.

Of course, with a cast like they had you can get by with a heavy hand. Belafonte and Hopkins going back and forth or Demi Moore and Sharon Stone as fading beauties swapping tales of what it was like to hook up with Baldwin onscreen or even William H. Macy and Rollergirl finally getting it on after all these years. All of 'em seem up for it, except for Ashton Kutcher who is fucking pathetic as the stock hippie/druggie.

Oh, and I just realized that I cannot stand Elijah Wood, a creepy looking alien with horrific facial hair and scary eyes. Who cares if he was The Good Son? (By the way, I feel the same way about Cillian Murphy. Just downright creepy looking. )

Since he had a wedding storyline in the flick I was really hoping for LiLo to slip on Frodo's "precious" but Emilio is too hip for such ironic throwaways.

Afterwards, Emilio (looking shockingly like his Dad these days, right down to the Bartlet gait and stocky figure) did a Q&A and brought along Christian Slater, Freddy Rodriguez and Joshua Jackson. Mostly dull, but Joshua Jackson did wear a black suit with these great striped socks and then used the word "versimilitude" which made me think of Pacey and ultimately I concluded that I like him even more now, especially after having seen him at the Bloc Party show.

I did like Babel slightly better. Saw it last week. Lots of crying. Also a bit with the heavy-handedness as is the Inarritu style I guess. Also with the cross-cutting across four narratives linked by some freakish accident (see Amores Perros and 21 Grams). Given this largely pre-ordained structure, nothing really is surprising or jarring about this flick the way it was for the previous two. You can only be original with your unique storytelling structure once.

Even with no surprises, it still has its moments exploring communication, globalization and (again), war. So, didn't love it, but worth seeing and arguing about. There are some great sequences with the Mexican Wedding the Japanese nightclub. Fun times.

On top of all this serious cinema did catch a passing glance of K-Fed getting booed onstage at the WeHo Halloween bash on my way to getting a prime spot to relive seminal junior high mall concert experience by watching Tiffany perform. She gave good show, but it's too bad Playboy couldn't airbrush away some of those extra lbs. Unclear if Jon Knight overcame his crowd skittishness to attend and support his one-time baby.

So Tom Cruise is "running" UA by greenlighting four pics a year and then also gets his overhead paid for by MGM (although probably not at $10M/yr) and Daniel Snyder? All this plus a fancy three-day Italian wedding in November and "Kate" is now friends with Brooke? Sometimes you just gotta say "what the fuck".

Great Vanity Fair piece on the soon to be senile Sumner Redstone and his predilection for nudity.

Is there any momentum for a Kerry '08? He really needs a good viral video guy to turn this thing around or David Cross.

This whole throw the 'bums out business is great and all for the short-term, don't know how it will cause Dems to suddenly develop cohesive leadership thoughtfulness and clearly articulated vision.

Hey 19 Don't Dream It's Over While We Were Getting High

2006-10-20T04:49:00.000-04:00

Birthday week in LA yielded some celeb output...

It was like trying to catch a deluge of celebs in a paper cup at Chateau Marmont on Tuesday night (Oct 17). Was there with my intended for a joint b-day dinner. Cavalcade of stars began with the Piper Perabo dinner party right behind me (girlfriend was in her finest bartop sashaying form, although I preferred her in the lovely g-on-g flick with a message Lost and Delirious. Hot but taken by some handsy bf type who liked to smoke). Fiancee and I did our best to extract ourselves from the Perabo dinner and the first date unfolding next to us (d-boy and casting director talking shop mostly, apparently "Emilio is so difficult to work with") and managed to keep the good times rolling: Olsen Twins (MK looked like Darth Sidious in this ridiculous hooded sweater thing. Do clothes come in their sizes?) in the lobby and outside. During our drinks outisde we next went on the indie tip with Sam Rockwell (sporting glasses and some outstanding bedhead). Next up was Angie Harmon (thrilling in a blue sequined giddy-up). After her was Vincent Gallo (totally stared us down, but mostly the fiance. Back off cocksucker!). After getting two right-leaning celebs in Harmon and Gallo I really expected the Hollywood Republican Convention to break out with Ron Silver showing up next, but instead who should stumble in, smelling like stripper and half-waddling and half-stumbling...the one celebrity who could tie this whole night together, Courtney Love. Just perfect.

After all that seeing Danny Bonaduce and the the VH1 Best Week Ever crowd at Social Hollywood on Thursday (Oct 19) seems decidedly less thrilling but Danny boy is small, ruddy and ripped.

I am totally against the latest bullshit manipulative serialized show. Fuck The Nine. Fuck this construct. At least in Lost, you AND the characters are on the journey of discovery. In The Nine, those fuckers already know what happened and the writers arbitrarily withold it to create a storyline. That's not a story, that's bullshit. So fuck that show. Plus, the girl has that strange, narrow sucked-in face.

Remember in your early 20s, when one of your friends dated an older guy and you marked or impugned him as old by referring to him as "that 30 year old dude!"

Yeah, well that's depressing.

That is all from Schrute farm.

He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus

2006-10-13T18:45:00.000-04:00

Overgrown facial hair, stylized mustaches, talk of new influences and a “roots”-sounding record, an appearance on SNL, a boldly derivative Springsteen rip-off first single…even before the album release, it was easy to come out against the new-look Killers as commoditized products of the big label machine and fancy PR consultants shaping their image for the second act. After hearing the album, can confirm that these calculated attempts…fail. Way back when, when the PH excoriated B. Flowers and co for riding out Mr. Brightside far too long, the suspicion was out there, “the fix is in.” Stretching out one catchy already somewhat derivative album for two years did not bode well for the sophomore release. More derivative, less catchy and fewer overall keepers (Bling, Reasons..maybe Read My Mind) on Sams Town. Bring back the synth!

Speaking of bringing back, I loved this recent quote from JT about the perils of bringing sexyback “I’ve had bottles of urine thrown at me, screaming fans tearing at my clothes…” That’s right, I’m sure bottles of urine are from the rabid fanbase of misbehaving girls looking to get whipped.

Have heard he’s not the most thrilling live performer so don’t really mind if he stops doing live shows in 10 years as he’s threatened. Since he is doing the whole Michael Jackson thing by that time he should be battling bankruptcy, degenerative skin disease and a predilection for pedophilia. Hopefully, Martin Brashear is still around to talk him out of the tree. I shudder to think of what Cameron Diaz’ skin will look like then.

In the meantime, I cannot wait for the JT version of “Bad” to come out.

I cannot understand why Shanna Moakler is all pissed off. Didn't she and Travis Barker break up? What right does she have to be angry? Besides, now she's the girl who punched Paris. That's some good ink right there. The final salvo is that she's attacked Paris Hilton as a manipulator of the media. However, from one PH to another PH I praise her for this very quality, although I would have handled the Nichole R. reconciliation differently, maybe auctioned off the photos or crashed Nicky Hilton's bizare Letterman appearance and told the world they were best friends and lovers again. But I think they have another break-up in them.

Nick Lachey offered up a philosophically challenging attack of Newlyweds the show as a bad idea while appearing on a late night talk show to discuss his latest post-breakup album that only registered on the pop culture radar because of his break-up, which was only news because of his high-profile relationship which was only newsworthy because of the hit reality TV show, Newlyweds. Elliptical much? Hmm, how far would that boy band frosted blond hair look have taken you Nick?

How long is the Aniston pity party supposed to last? I'm ready for the part where she sleeps around a bit and then play a cold-blooded female assassin in a movie, then she'll be ok. Stephen Huvane are you listening?

I hope Jessica Biel dates Adam Levine just long enough to kick his ass.

Had high expectations for The Departed and it delivered. Great flick. Elements were in place before going to see it – Scorcese + Boston + the big cast = Quality entertainments. Watching the flick you could also add in --> + Propulsive editing pace + Fantastically violent confrontations + Scorcese’s obligatory royalty check to the Stones for using Gimme Shelter.

The small-time player scenery-chewing era of Alec Baldwin's career > any Baldwin in a movie as a leading man (see The Juror or Sliver or Mercury Rising). Mark Wahlberg is hilarious in it. The super-violent almost haphazard ending is a bit senseless but alas, such is the vicious cycle of violence. Last shot is lame and cheesy.

The rockpopdance tip is heating up. Digging the new Rapture release. Sure, the dark cloud has lifted and the sound is a little less mysterious and dangerous than before, but it’s still upbeat on the rock-dance tip. Danny Terio would be proud. Instead of the Vines vs. the Hives we could have OK Go vs. The Rapture. You know, if people cared. Scissor Sisters might also participate in such a venture although they are more unabashedly dance-y and 70s inspired with their whole ABBA/Elton John sound which also works great on Ta-Dah. I don’t just like, I like like the "I Don’t Feel Like Dancing” track in particular.

Made a bad TV bet on Smith which is now cancelled. Too bad, because I enjoyed seeing one precision heist each week from the washed-up movie star cast. They did need a stronger personality on the detective end of the storyline. Whatevs, I now put my faith in the Heroes on NBC and the Nine I guess. Not sold on the self-important and overly serious Studio 60, but more intrigued by the irreverent 30 Rock.

Got a good one with Ryan O’Neal in Brentwood the other day in front of Duttons. He was on the phone and looking perturbed.

Like Harvard Square Holds All Inane

2006-09-26T22:36:00.000-04:00

Subject from Tapes'nTapes "Insistor". Great tune.

Also enjoying the Junior Boys but I think I'm late to the party on that one as Pitchfork, CMJ and everyone else has already slurped them.

I did have Garden State 2: Last Kiss on the list, but it really disappeared didn't it?

It's refreshing that the new MGM still releases the biggest worst movies around as Flyboys evidenced last weekend. Bill Gates is probably happy since Larry Ellison loast a boatload on it.

Science of Sleep, Jackass and of course multi-star Boston-set Scorcese-directed Departed are on the to-do list.

Studio 60 on Sunset Strip manages to transform SNL into the fucking West Wing. Sorkin is just as sanctimonious and sentimental as he was on Sportsnight and West Wing. More zany and profane humor, less Gilbert and Sullivan and less of the "undeniably sexy" Sarah Paulson.
Just to be clear: she totally sucks.

Taking a flier on Smith with its no longer big enough for the movies cast of Ray Liotta, Virginia Madsen, Amy Smart and Angelina Jolie's brother Jonny Lee Miller.

Clinton hardly went "nuts" on Fox News the other day, but I sort of enjoyed it. Good TV!
Mad Clinton should have his own radio show. Maybe if he's nice Oprah will give him a show like Rachael Ray and Dr. Phil McGraw.

Do you think Harry Morton tried to break it off with LiLo because he got tired of seeing her unadorned pink taco all over the internets? If I were a firecrotch I think I'd celebrate it down there instead of blinding people all over the lands with flashes of my fleshy insides. Gross.

Evidence that high school girls are stupid and deserved to be mistreated: Laguna Beach Season 2. Cameron is an idiot. I expected more from Tessa. I am looking forward to Kyndra getting humiliated and hurt by that new Fall Out Boy looking kid. It's the show that makes it ok to be a misogynist.

Billie Joe Armstrong should get haircut royalties from Fall Out Boy - Panic At the Disco - My Chemical Romance and every high school boy rocker wannabe.

A multitude of minor celebs in broad daylight:

- The first Mrs. Cruise - Mimi Rogers - awaiting the rapture at the Brentwood Farmer's Market on 9/17. She was a regular Brentwood Mom except for the fact she'd slept with Tom Cruise. Ok, ok, allegedly. Btw, a surfeit of nude Mimi Rogers pictures bubbles over the internets if you do a search. You are warned.

- On my way to defending our Wednesday night trivia title walked right by Eddie Griffin laying down the Man Laws outside Sushi Roku. He looks EXACTLY like he does on TV and in Undercover Brother.

- Doing the farmer market circuit at Pacific Palisades last Sunday and spied Leslie Mann at Coffee Bean with her kid. Someone was discussing her puketastic performance in 40yearold Virgin.

- And then at The Farmer's Market on Fairfax today seemed to get an afternoon o-fer before encountering Jason Alexander looking very George-like and sporting an extremely Costanza fanny pack. Yes, a fanny pack. Naturally, I am curious as to what is inside the hip-side attachment: Cellphone? Wallet? PDA? Keys? Did he do it to avoid weighing down the pockets? Was there a Seinfeld episode about this? Shouldn't there have been? Is he going to appear on a new adventure with old Christine?

Yes, get me out into the daytime, four walls won't hold me this Sunday morning. Maybe next time I'll report back with a real grown-up adult nighttime sighting, but we missed Topher Grace by a few minutes in WeHo last weekend. That woulda been a good one and would have made #1 fan very happy (a little too happy methinks.)

To Gawk at more junkie, click here

2006-09-11T20:25:00.000-04:00

On this tragic day of remembrance, I can think of no more special tribute than to acknowledge that the self-promotion floodgates have opened and to dutifully provide a link to a Gawker Media comment page with all my pithy remarks placed in one tidy internets home.

As a rappin' Bono once sang:

I'm no dope, I give you hope, here's the rope, here's the rope, now, link away -

http://defamer.com/commenter/5195

(P.S. I estimate Bono lost 17% of his iconic rock star status due to the unfortunate Croatian vacation photos snapped up in the Jessica Simpson US Weekly of two weeks ago.)

I'll let you whip me if I misbehave

2006-09-10T03:11:00.000-04:00

1. Obsessed with Bringing Sexy Back. Timbaland can do no wrong. He could really give Prince's career a maintsream shot in the arm.

2. So Suri is Asian, but don't all babies have an Asian quality at that age? But if she's a lot older as some theorists on BricksandStones.blogspot.com have claimed and she is Chris Klein's baby then that totally explains it.

Well, everything but her actual age and Asian heritage.

Not sure what to think but the possibility is just tantalizing enough to resurrect Klein's career. That and another Alexander Payne movie.

3. The publicist-tabloids-celebrity co-dependent relationship works when the public doesn't see it, but like a someone in a bagel shop sporting a bright blue bikini underneath a diaphanous black sarong, it looks tacky when you can see it.

Two recent examples: a) Jessica Simpson's publicist over-reaching by trumping up a John Mayer US Weekly cover love story and then getting fired by Papa Joe for doing so. b) Kristen Cavallari. Pretty much everything she does is nakedly driven by a need to stay famous but it's really obvious when even the tabloids acknowledge she wore a t-shirt to send a message via the press, tries to make out with DJ AM to get to the press to write about it and then gets a little puppy dog because all the ingenues are doing it (e.g. Jessica, Paris, Nicole etc. Lindsay Lohan had one but she did some lines off its stomach, fucked it and then got a rash that cleared all the hair off of her na-na. That's what I heard anyway). Telltale signs of publicist telling celeb what dog food to put out and the tabloids eating it up like ravenous hounds in saggy pants.

You don't want to see the machine at work you just want your photos of Kristen stealing a kiss from a previously single guy and a photo of Debra Messing looking ugly in her driveway (and everywhere else). Is that too much to ask?

4. Speaking of Lindsay Lohan's private parts...here is another PH LL nudity photo. Interesting that her publicity team tried to a) submit a fake photo with her in underwear and b) have someone steal her purse to kill the endless circulation of Lindsay's bald firecrotch.

5. The #1 fan spent some quality time with Lloyd! (Rex Lee) a few weeks ago. Amiable unassuming fellow who enjoys a mid-day tequlia beverage, provided it's free of course.

6. Saw Little Miss a few weeks ago. Highly recommended despite a few too-cute indie moments. Saw One Day in September and loved it. Then helped LA try for the 2016 games two days later and discussed terrorist protections. Saw Two for the Money on TV and wish I had my life back from that under-plotted mess. I'm 15 year old boy Swimsuit issue excited for The Departed.

7. Still loving Raconteurs album (old school Beatles/Zep influenced rock) and enjoying Wolf Parade side project Sunset Rubdown.

Really digging The Long Winters emo-ish rock sound and also love the new Dears album (Gang of Losers). They have a perfect in-between stateside/UK Montreal rock sound that melds The Smiths and Interpol.

8. Celebrity Duets - Hal Sparks singing a song he previously lampooned on I love the 80s was a decidedly unironic moment but I think I enjoyed timeless, sexy octogenerian Lea Thompson (ok, she's probably 4osomething) singing with a schoolmarmish Belinda Carlisle. Carly Petersen was bad.

9. Got it on good word: Denise Richards is NOT engaged. And her daughter Sam's full name is Sam.

10. Punked out at pub trivia this week after a strong 3rdplace finish last time. Did not know that Bruce from Beretta was a cockatoo.

11. The Sox may be finished but the Pats are just beginning.

12. Sumner may be senile but it's only a matter of time before Freston goes private equity and then resurfaces with some more digital-ish company.

13. And just like that Starz has a studio to go along with CBS and MGM. So there are 9 majors? Really? I thought everyone was saying it's harder than ever to be in the movie biz (Variety on promoted-in-name Amy Pascal said so)

14. Rescue Me had typically overwrought finale with unusual painful earnestness at 9/11 site. Entourage had a lame finale.

15. It's so pathetic that Sandy Berger got his panties in a bunch over this Path to 9/11 thing. Suck it up people and let them run a disclaimer and then let's get the what actually happened truth in the fucking press. There would be no factual inaccuracies if you people had been more forthcoming in the first place with your fuck-ups. Let's see if that Senate report showing no Al Qaeda Saddan link has the same impact.

16. Richard Armitage totally f'ed the movement. Damn.

17. Paris gets arrested. Then the next night she is out in a brown wig and making out with Travis Barker. "I just wanted to have some fun." Her PR mastery continues. Jessica Simpson should hire her.

I still maintain that any guy in the same city as Paris has even odds to stick it with her via a serendipitous run-in. The question is, would you even want to?

18. Jessica Biel update: a) Still hanging out in Brentwood b) Still sporting a lovely buoyant behind
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/09/jessica-biel-is-bending-over.html

SPECIAL: The paparazzi tried to kill us!

2006-08-28T22:42:00.000-04:00

Usually try not to make the news here at the PH, only aspire to manufacture some semi-related mirth but sometimes getting coffee (well, really the Floyd Landis testosterone special strawberries and cream tea latte) on a Saturday morning can become a celebrity adventure.

Yes let me tell you about being thrust in the spotlight by TMZ.com. Yes, it's true, the intrepid Gibson-getters' roving network of royalty-killing paparazzi identified myself and the #1 Fan as muscular friends of the Sexiest Woman Alive when we were all out for a post-coffee walk with her and her dog on a Saturday afternoon.

Let me put it mathematically: Muscular * Friends * Sexiest Woman Alive = (junkie + #1 Fan)

Don't believe me? Let's go to the videotape: http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/28/sexiest-woman-alive-walks-mans-best-fried/

So Jessica Biel does have a finely chiseled body in real life. Having seen her once before can reconfirm that she looks more Olympian than Red Carpet. She walks really fast. Her dog has aged by approximately 2 years since we saw them walking together approximately 2 years ago. Her seventh heavenly arms caused the #1 Fan to get all aflutter. And her admirable posterior portrudes just enough as if to say, "hey, I may be freakishly toned but I still can be used as a flotation device, now stop looking before I kick your scrawny flabby ass."

Most importantly, she also came to our defense when the overeager paparazzi tried to rush through the intersection and run us over. When we earned a honk from the marauding SUV, she couldn't believe it and told us what assholes they were. I attempted to speak but out of fear of getting maced allowed the #1 Fan to handle all communication with the Sexiest Woman Alive. She was friendly to us to be sure even if I didn't get to play my "sister went to school with you at Tufts" card. Would also have appreciated it if #1 Fan seized on Jessie B's comment that she owns a beer pong table by inviting the sexy beast to our own Flip Cup Tourney but given the way that event was marred by interruption, it was all for the best.

Oh, by the by, could not really think of a good movie or TV credit for her. She's really famous for being really hot, but not much to hang her lyrca-spandex knee-length pants on for cred.

With the exception of Summer Catch of course.

Special thanks to our eagle-eyed internet-roving downtown-LA-working fan for the link.

I'm child and man and child again

2006-08-23T18:36:00.000-04:00

Bonjour kiddies

Yes the PH has been dark while junkie de-toxed on vacay in Quebec.

Sightings: hopped on exercise bike at Montreal's Intercontinental Hotel next to former world #1 Martina Hingis. She has a low heart rate, shapely legs, blonde facial hair and a lot of Adidas gear. And her Mom is bigger than you'd think.

Returned from NYC flight with pop superstar Rihanna and her dance troupe. Nice headgear girlfriend.

Snakes on a Plane underwhelmed. It wasn't even #1 for the Fri-Sun weekend as Ricky Bobby beat the snakes down. Everyone is eager to blame the geeky bloggers on the internets for the overselling. Cannot wait for the overcorrection. Martin Grove of THR and the folks at QView have their theories: (1) doing it as rated R but targeting teen boys is a bad idea and um, (2) people hate snakes. Succinct and truthful, I like it.

Checked out The Sadies and Lil Andy at Main Hall in Montreal. Lil Andy offered irony-tinged clever but uninventive country rock. Lots of anticipation surrounding headliners previewing their new album - they are Canadian, they are on the Pitchfork/CMJ radar, they are about to launch a new album , they play with Neko Case and have good cred. Alas, the show didn't deliver. Their three-minute tunes broke down 40 40 20 between twangy country rock, surf rock and pretty pop tunes. Wish the split was more heavily weighted to the pop tunes. So much promise and anticipation...

Did enjoy the Main Hall as a venue, a small, hot crowded room of Montreal's finest hipsters.
Also give decent marks to Montreal's contemporary art museum (aside from a weak music video installation featuring Stephane Sednaoui Mark Romanek Spike Jonze Jonathan Glazer and co) especially the sneakers as native American/Canadian masks thing. Very cool.
And also to Quebec City for their nifty old town and its Anatomy of a Murder exhibit at Musee de Civilisation. The #1 fan and I tabbed the jilted angry murderer Hart to Hart style and even high-fived in freeze frame to end the episode.

Have a late night premium cable level dangerous obsession with subject tune from Raconteurs, Broken Boy Soldier.

Hey Indo-American Hollywood superstar and silent Superman star Kal Penn is going to play...(wait for it)...an Islamic would-be terrorist on 24! First a near-mute villanious computer programmer and now this! Macacas rejoice!

Off to prep for my NFL fantasy draft...

We will not be the last

2006-08-04T17:21:00.000-04:00

Oh, so now we've figured out where Dom went on Entourage. Back east to Miami so he could join Sonny and Rico under deep cover. Quite a month for Domenick Lombardozzi to drop in on the Entourage guys and then go Vice-ing in Miami. Plus, he got the plum undercover assignment of having a three-way with two high-end hookers. Only if Alonso hadn't called...

Do you think Alonso was a Jew? Mel has me questioning everything. Although his friends stick up for him: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-gibson4aug04,1,1409910.story?page=5&cset=true&ctrack=1&coll=la-headlines-entnews

Did anyone else notice that CBS has quietly slipped into the movie biz? (try this: http://www.variety.com/article/VR%201117947944?cs=1&s=h&p=0) So, 4-6 films a year sounds small, but those are just financed films. With 2-3 acquisitions they are right up there as the #7 studio all of a sudden. Or wait, #8 if you count the resurrected MGM. Point Moonves. Freston to serve.

Enjoyed the Miami Vice despite the at-times ridiculous dialogue and bizarre Colin Farrell performance (wait, he was in love with that chick? when did that happen? I guess I was distracted by his Southern charm and accent). Visually arresting as always from my Mann Michael. I wished it had better music and more of that awesome synth score from the show. The heavy synth, the pulses was part of that mood. Still moody here but ruined a bit by Chris Cornell crooning shitty Audioslave tunes. Put me in the mood for mojitos and go-fast boats.

Bloc Party again at Greek last night, for my 3rd time, were awesome. As in other performances they picked up steam as the night went on. Positive Tension was an early frenzied moment, but the highlight had to be during Helicopter when Kele opened the stage to the pit audience and dozens of crazy kids were living out their rock'n'roll dreams by dancing onstage with him. A completely spontaneous unpredictable and potentially scary rock and roll moment. Eventually they ushered them off stage, did a pretty version of So Here We Are and then ended the night with a really rousing Pioneers. I wish the crowd had maintained that level of energy throughout, but alas, Los Angeles and its blase industry jaded concertgoing public just isn't brave enough to bring the earnest display of noise and brio for a big outdoor show. Intrigued by new stuff, but impatient to get my hands on it. New song Uniform sounded uneven which sounds incongruous but was true.

Mew had this atmospheric falsetto Sigur Ros-like thing going, but not sure if it was the daylight, the 1/16th full venue or the lack of propulsive rock'n'roll that kept them from really selling me. The nattily attired lads from OK Go were standing next to me and they cleared enjoyed the performance. However, the OK Go guys displayed an alarming lack of modern rock hierarchy awareness when they next discussed whether Broken Social Scene came on before or after Bloc Party. Ok, I know people swear by Broken Social Scene as the new apotheosis of indie rock, but putting them ahead of Kele and Co. is too much. Ah, to be a blissfully unaware hipster rocker wearing mismatched pinstriped pants and pinstriped sportcoat...
Did enjoy the Broken Social, but wish they had their rockin' chanteuse from Metric/Feist who can really carry a tune. She's good.

Oh yeah, ran into Pacey - Joshua Jackson - at the Greek's enormously long row of urinals last night. Both of us were zipped otherwise run-in could have been messy. He looked very much the same as the ol' days. What is he doing now? Was he in Skulls 2?

WSOPC update: Cannot believe that El Chupacabra beat the Boegby Bunch but the bigger upset was knocking off the stone cold pop culture queen Kim Eaton and the Almost Perfect Strangers squad. Nobody knew any U2 albums! Unreal. Kim had her chances -Crazy, Garth Brooks etc - but the finale was lame with the two guys - Mason and Jim - getting bounced early and leaving the girls (including Jason) to fail their way through the rest of the q's.

Fidelio!

We see Joe Francis out and about in LA (Dime, Katsuya etc). That's his M.O., his "brand" after all, except when he's being sodomized in his own house as karmic punishment. Now it turns out, there is documentation of him being a monster... http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-gonewild32aug06,0,5620406.story?page=5&track=mostviewed-storylevel

Scary.

Enjoying the My Bloody Valentine-ish stylings of Asobi Seksu.

By the way, did I say how godawful Pirates of the Caribbean was? Nearly unwatchable with a strange villain - "the sea?" - and a total non-ending. Plus it was too gross and slimy in an adolescent way. Maybe I am old as I was grossed out by King Kong as well. Superman was a far better made film, better looking, more mythology, more gravity (ha ha), but a lame romantic/family storyline that took primacy over kicking Lex Luthor's ass. Which never fucking happened! Superman gets beat down by Lex the Judas (Jesus/Judas, bet you never thought of that) and then never gets revenge? At least people knew that Jesus was resurrected so Judas could feel bad about that, Lex never really gets that.

Did enjoy the Parker Posey. Call me Katherine. Also enjoyed the silent treatment given Kal Penn - where did all your lines go buddy? - another point for Indian men in Hollywood Cinema the silent techie villian flunky. He didn't even good licks on Supe in the beatdown scene! Lame.

I guess I want to see Ricky Bobby - I recall the original deal for that movie coming in way high, around $80M with a big Will F. payday, but I could have the deets wrong from two summers ago - , but not much else is out there for me right now. Still missing Brick and Cache on video.
Home video day and date electronic download where are you?

The Who are on tour this summer, but the #1 fan put it best: "there is no Who without Keith Moon." Indeed. I love this woman.

WSOPC

2006-07-24T03:01:00.000-04:00

I am obsessed.

I am so glad Cheetara got eliminated.
I hated them.

Almost Perfect Strangers' Kim Eaton is the best player I have seen so far.

But I could still take them.

Need two more warm bodies though, who's in?

E-mail wsopc@embassyrow.com with:
1. Your Name
2. Your Phone Number
3. Your E-mail Address
4. State You Reside In

Badness is happening right now?

2006-07-22T01:31:00.000-04:00

Apparently, that is Crockett's definition of "foreboding"

Many folks feel that way about the flick. I still hold out hope despite a barrage of negative press and the increasingly popular depiction of my cinematic idol Michael Mann as a deranged maniacal perfectionist (some of it justified it turns out).

Ok, but that's next week.

This week, I must make up for lost time watching shitty cable in the hospital by going to the movies high-school style and spending all afternoon moving from theater to theater. All these marketers have really made me feel like I am missing "event" movies like Superman and Pirates even though critics keep telling me that I am not missing anything (see metacritic.com/film for evidence). Which then shouldn't surprise folks when studios decide not to screen movies for critics. So democratic, what will the cultural elites do? Argue about the merits of Wassup Rockers?

Due to the infirmed period all I can report on the celebrity front is a spotting of Laker second banana Lamar Odom at The Lobster in Santa Monica last Sunday. He's tall and probably still grieving from the recent unexpected death of his infant son on June 29th.

Ok, brought down the PH party there a bit, but let me get you out on this high note: the much anticipated link to Wilder Brown's new demo.

Here it is: http://www.theloniousjunk.com/wilder_brown/Demo1.mp3

Toodles

About Last Night's Break-Up

2006-07-22T00:35:00.000-04:00

I'm easing my way back, been sitting on this one...

Let's see... a movie about a young couple in Chicago.

Falls into superlove, early pivotal encounter at Cubs game, probably rushes into living together. Sacrifices are made to accomodate the opposite sex.

Guy continues his blue collar existence while nurturing his dreams of entrepreneurial expansion. Sophisticated girl continues her job while warding off nosy co-workers. Guy harbors lingering jealousy regarding girl's romantic activities. Guy refuses to fully accept and embrace living arrangement.

Ugly break-up occurs.

Ultimately, girl moves out. Guy continues to play softball. Pining and attempts at reconciliation fail.

Which brings us to the ending of...About Last Night.

Yes, this 1986 flick covered just about all of the ground covered in Vinnifer's purportedly "original" The Break-Up. I liked it better with more nudity, Jim Belushi's comedic stylings (better than Cole Hauser or John Michael Higgins' karate accapella), a real-life Chicago bar as co-star (Mother's!) and when the movie was called About Last Night.

Ok, but I did really enjoy the bit about "wanting to do the dishes" and buying flowers. And Vinnifer had a much nicer place. Lovely floors.

Make sure you download the lovely German poster into your My Pictures folder...

I will stop, I will stop at nothing, say the right things...

2006-06-28T02:40:00.000-04:00

when Electioneering.

In honor of Radiohead making a seemingly triumphant swing through California (not in LA yet, but NorCal reports are promising. Not so much for Deerhoof, disappointing).

Also in Honor of the Prez. Wait, the government monitors our activities?! It monitors phone calls?! It monitors bank records and finances?! It got the Belgiums to roll over?! Stop the presses!!

Of course, that's exactly what the President and his heavy Dick Cheney want to do. Singling out the New York Times to meet them after school on the playground at 3 o'clock high. Maybe the Times will bring the WSJ (his Dad has a gun) and the LAT (we don't really get along since NYT stole my girlfriend, but this is something we can all get behind) for support.

I think the argument is that the Times crossed a line and overstepped its bounds in reporting on the adminstration's anti-terror activities. Oh the irony.

Even better, one of the adminstration's main arguments is that the Times is endangering the anti-terror campaign by revealing the tactics, such as...investigating terrorist finances.

I bet these terrorists never thought of that. They spend all their time sending in videos to Dick and Ed such as their Al Zarqawi machine-gun blooper reel and don't have time to watch All the President's Men so they would never even think that the adminstration might try to "follow the money."

Al Qaeda (or Iraq, I get confused sometimes on the details) has probably never seen Deep Throat either (Linda Lovelace would be happy since she's all activist these days).

Someone we all know - but don't really love - was on top of investigating international criminal finances way back in 1988 as reported in the Washington Monthly http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2004/0409.sirota.html

---

So they said in a study - that was reported on during a particularly inane celebrity gossip show that I believe employs erstwhile ESPN sideline reporter Sal "the head" Massekela - The Daily Show is making young viewers more cynical about politics and the electoral process.

Hey, I didn't TA Philosophy 205: Logic but is that really the way the causality runs? Is it possible that politicians - oh like say Duke Cunningham - make young people cyncial about politics and the electoral process?

(Shit, I think I just got shrill.)

I think the article published in Science or maybe it was NEJoM can't recall...

(Oooh, good, back down to cock-eyed sarcasm, the refuge of those who refuse to commit).

---

Speaking of science, An Inconvenient Truth is really a well-done science lecture that would have been truly awesome if it was an IMAX flick with lots of overwhelmingly large and curvy footage from Antarctica, Greenland, Carthage and the like. Instead, it's a pretty good science lecture, albeit a bit dry in some places and not terribly eye-opening for those of us elites already "in the know" on global climate change. Of course, those are probably these very elites are the only ones pushing this flick to a $15M U.S. box office gross. It'll make a nice double-DVD if the same rights holder has Who Killed The Electric Car which comes out in a few weeks and has good ole' Ed Begley Jr. and Martin Sheen shaking up Fordist economics. I can't be bothered to check to see who has the rights...

Hey, the movie really really had me wishing Al Gore would run for President. He'd be waaay better than Hillary (blech). He's funnier and looser now, I think. I wish he still had his beard. Anyway, this movie is a smart strategy to stay in the public eye.

Also, the NYT and other publications are REALLY slurping the movie's themes with stories on Greenland and Geo-Engineering in the last three days.

So E! Online has really snark-ed up its Daily News First Look site : http://www.eonline.com/News/firstlook.html but today in reporting on the John Cusack stalker they made a crack (guess about what?....Say Anything. Guess which scene?....yeah that one, with the boombox) but cited "blasting a Sting song" from the old-fashioned ghetto-blaster (does that sound like a racist gun?). Yes, Sting. If you're going to be snarky, you better be right. It's the only way to be holier than thou, trust me I know. Trust me like Dennis Haysbert says you're in good hands with State Farm.

Do you think Cusack is jealous of his old buddy Piven? Love the Discovery Channel Piven in India show, esp. when his "friend" Padma drops by.

Oh right, they've fixed it by now because they are diligent journalists.

Whatever happened to Jules Asner's hard-hitting investigative pieces on E!? I miss those.

Courtesy of the #1 fan: Opening night at Katsuya (finally) in Brentwood yielded: Dustin Hoffman (in glasses), Joe Francis (sans anal probe) and Beth from Real World LA who apparently has trying to make it as an actress in LA for hm....14 years. Keep on keepin' on Beth!! (btw, she's fucking tall, I saw her myself).

Sundance's House of Boateng makes me want a hot red suit and then have an occasion to wear it.

Am in the market for a summer suit - preferably slate colored but will take the BR tan that Walkmen lead singer sported during Coachella - so,, suggestions?

After all the vicious beatings, the random and relentless senseless violence, it is a rape (was it?) scene on Rescue Me that has got TV critics all frothy. Yeah, it's sorta sick when Tommy takes down his soon-to-be-ex, but that show has been comically over-the-top with its preposterous Melrose-like dramatic changes so, my message is: people, lie back and enjoy it like Bobby Knight said.

-If you don't give my football back, I'll be sad because France v. Spain was a pretty damn good match and because I love that tune and commercial. Belle and Sebastian should cover that song.

-Petey deserved a standing O at Fenway today. More than Johnny. The Sox really broke up with him more than anything else, but it was for the best.

God or the Girl -- do you find that to be a ground-breaking reality show?

Did you know? Reality TV and Improv-style comedy shows are meeting in the middle? The Hills and Curb Your Enthusiasm are essentially the same style show with one exception: I'd take Cheryl over Heidi any day.

I do love seeing Heidi getting taken down a peg each week. The farce of the show is that "reality" where Heidi wonders whether she's "get the job" in P-fucking-R with Brent Bolthouse and where Lauren flaunts the one instruction she had at the "Young Hollywood" party and worries about her job security..you know because the all important folks at Teen Vogue (could they be more self-important?) would probably fire her when they get tired of the weekly advertisement for their magazine. Oh yeah, guess who's on the cover of their magazine this month? I think I'd go intern at The New Yorker so I could get the cool cartoon cover if I were Lauren.

Superman Returns...this week

You Me and Dupree...on my list, along with the #1 fan and our erstwhile roomie

Hail to the Thief

Ted's Pants

2006-06-19T17:40:00.000-04:00

Do you have a viral video in circulation? You should get one. Everyone is doing it.

The following clip tested well with a non-random statistical sampling conducted in an Austin hotel suite with 25 some-odd fellows wearing the same t-shirt at 3AM on Sat night: http://youtube.com/watch?v=hpeTNzVNly0&search=teds%20pants

There may or may not have been alcohol involved...

--

More mainstreaming of electronic downloads: ho-hum, iTunes is going to have movies soon. Not priced at $9.99, well some will be I guess. Cinemanow and Movielink are already there, but those sites have little traffic. At the same time, Netflix is going to be delivered via set-top-box soon. They'll still limit your queue though because unlimited rental = sale and that's no good for digital.

Will people buy iTunes videos of stuff they already own on DVD? I'm thinking no, but the burn to disc option needs to get easier in order for this electronic stuff to really take off.

Also, I'm waiting for Columbia House DVD to go this route. Then I'll get on board.

--

Returning via LAX, I lost the airport pick-up battle (someone always loses either driving extra loops or killing time at the curb) but was kept entertaining during the wait by the arrival of other AA flights. As I counted down the minutes to getting home and watching my 21 minutes of "top-tall" Entourage, out spilled the Pivert himself: Ari Gold in backwards cap in trucker mesh (#1fan verdict: not a good look, vastly prefer the self-conscious pose at left), looking around frantically for his oh-so-important ride and toting a sleek metallic roller-board. To what model-laden Hollywood destination he rushed off to I can only imagine (I'm thinking Shag but perhaps he played it low-key at L'Scorpion).

UPDATE via Defamer: Apparently the Pivert was returning from Chicago where he implored Cubs fans to "Hug it out you little bitches" which not only accelerates the rapid decline of the already short-coded shelf life of this annoying catchphrase but probably offended more than a handful of kids at the game with their fathers on Father's Day. Well done Ari!

Next up or actually simultaneously up was another backward-capped notorious scenester, Michael Vartan (also spotted at Skybar by the PH in Jan '05). Sporting a curiously unbent bill on his NY Mets hat and adorned in the full dress-down uniform of unbuttoned wrinkled incognito celebrity getup. If I had a good camera-phone I probably could have captured both Piven and Sunset strip regular Vartan in one Sunset-strip loving bachelor shot. Vartan passed by several times as he appeared to collect his bags from the claim one at a time and then he joined an older guy who looked like his Dad.

On the phone with my Vartan-loving sister who demanded that I trip him and stuff him in my duffel bag for her consumption, but this did not occur. He's no longer the number one target for Sunset strip chicks though is he (#1 fan weighs in: still a hottie!)? In fact, you could play a good game of career no career for someone like him. Banal but pretty. He's like the Brentwood of actors. By that standard, lot of actors living in the "Brentwood zone".

That's a lot of description for a pretty uneventful run-in.

I'm off to get a life...

It hurts to be right

2006-06-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

Many months ago I predicted right here in these pages that Jessica Simpson would be attached to Jared Leto and now the constellations of the star-fucking world have aligned for an improbable but entertaining pairing.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/425589p-359042c.html

I cannot wait to see Simpson, Leto and Papa Joe in blood smeared costumes in US Weekly.

They should use Ashlee's blood. She's like a pop candy doll these days, the ultimate manufactured pop star. Although, it'd be more believable if she actually had tuneful pop hits.

Also:
- Entourage first ep: great to have the guys back, part of me prefers to hang out with them in 6 to 8 episode stretches. 22 min leaves me wanting more. Last night's was sorta lame though. Except for scenes with Mrs. Ari, whom I love. Is Ari becoming more popular than the guys? LA Times thinks so.

- Now's your chance with LaLohan, she's all coked up (per I don't like you in that way) and ready to go:http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/lindsay-lohan/grownup-lindsay-lohan-would-now-like-to-be-called-a-party-woman-180165.php

- Don't park near Paris: http://www.hollyscoop.com/blog-detail.aspx?BlogID=1445

- Dorff > Pivert? : http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/jeremy-piven/entourage-season-3-sneak-peek-piven-vs-dorff-179123.php
I knew a girl who dated Stephen Dorff. She was a model. South African. Young. Really dumb. He cheated on her with other models, but when you're that pretty, that's what you do. I mean, Dorff, not the girl. She was nice, just sort of dim. Piven is buff. Remember when he screwed that girl to death in Very Bad Things? Nice ass. I meant the girl, not him.

- Joey and Chandler > Phoebe and Rachel in the funny department? A controversial stance: http://socialitelife.com/2006/06/09/jennifer_aniston_and_lisa_kudrow_are_the_most_horrible_human_beings_in_the_world.php

- This Gnarls Barkley shit is really good

- The rash of female births continues, I'll take the Damon/Bozan and Aronofsky/Weisz spawn outshining the Pitt/Jolie and Cruise/Holmes offspring in 25 years. What's the Vegas line?

- Just spent the weekend getting Lost in Boston (good Walkmen tune) with my #1 fan. Will get back on track soon...

A Holiday Delayed By A Storm

2006-05-24T00:17:00.000-04:00

Ah yes, I've been remiss. Summer is officially happening in LA. 605 is awash in MelrosePlace like poolside barbeques and bikinis. At work I am awash in rivers of chocolate and oompa loompas. Busy busy.

But the Pop goes on...

Caught Architecture in Helskinki at Troubadour on May 22. The percussion! The outfits! The European-on-holiday hat! It's Five! They were great. I couldn't figure out which was Architecture though. The gang grabbed an Israeli girl to sing Happy Birthday in Hebrew and a Korean guy to sing in Korean. It was a great big love-in in the cozy Troub. Also caught the twin drummers from Tussle do their thing, which sounded like one big complex fun intro to a 70s prog rock song. King Crimson would have been proud but I wish the tunes had gone somewhere.

Between AinH, Arcade Fire, Gullemots, Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos you could have an all -8 person festival with multiple drummers. That's the hot look these days. That and short-shorts of course.

Sadly, the team I love like my adopted African baby of unstable health - the Clippers - were eliminated this same night. After that Game 5, it was no surprise. The taller Maggette should have been in to challenge Bell, not Ewing.

Darting in and out of traffic on Santa Monica Blvd on the way to the Troub and Rosie was Riding the BMW with her pixie blonde lesbian lover - not quite the bus and her sister, but close enough. She seemed bored. Also doing the morning circuit around B'wood Country Club and ran right by neighborhood regular Calista Flockhart. She has a funny-looking mouth. She looked lot like Calista upper left.

Hot new band on the rise - Wilder Brown. I'll post our - I mean their - demo next time. Postal Service/Bloc Party influence but stripped down.

Has it been that long? Did I forget to discuss the desperate and arbitrary drama of the OC finale? All season long it has veered from one ridiculous caprcious plot twist to the next and the random senselessness continued with this kill-off of Mischa Barton. Consistent in its arbitrary inconsistency. I will still enjoy seeing her 'round town although we could have used her at The Dime the other night. Other shows - Office, Gilmore Girls, Lost - did the usual overreaching with their finales and will have to spend a few episodes next season un-doing their latest moves (e.g. get Jim back to Scranton, get Lor out of Christopher's bed, free the good doc and co). It's a silly cycle.

Missed him but apparently The Game was Turntable Labs last Saturday for their monthly party. Neat photo exhibit, but avoided purchasing more mash-up CD's this time 'round.

Obsessed with The Like right now. Some fantastic tunes on their album, a bigness of sound that belies their three-chick lineup.

Btw, ran into this guy from digital studio - Alex Knudsen - last night at Warsaw. He's a dick.

I never did get why one of the richest men in the world - Paul McCartney - couldn't find a chick with two legs. Even worse, she turned out to be a raging bitch who tossed his engagement ring out the window. And now they are through...maybe he'll write some silly love songs about it. But what's wrong with that?

TiVo cupboard is bare these days. Alive and Kicking with "We Are the 80s" right now and dipping into the under-explored high 100s on find the Fox Movie Channel and old Fed Cup tennis matches. Watching Rescue Me again even after vowing not to, but I am keeping it at arms length. Burned me once, I will not get emotionally involved.

I should read more.

These mags are getting more and more into fitness regimens. Life and Style said Evangeline Lilly's ruffled bikini was the worst look on a good bod, but this week US Weekly has it featured on Star Style. It's too much! But I do enjoy seeing the swmisuit competition unfold in tabloid mags week after week. So do Paul Walker and Matthew McConaughey of course, since they'd have no career with their shirtless summer photo shoots.

You may enjoy these actual links I took the trouble of finding:

http://media.skoopy.com/misc/celebs_without_makeup/
- Penelope still looks decent. Net win for MM to have dated her.
and

http://www.postchronicle.com/news/strange/article_21219663.shtml
- I am going to the Venetian in July. Will not bring the gf.

Lots of talk about film criticism on the internets right now. NYT and Dave Kehr's blog are two such forums. It's all about bloggers it seems.

Remiss in making it to the movies too. Dutifully promise to go out and do some sampling and report back...(don't hold your breath for an X-Men3 review. BRatner sucks. Go ask Defamer if you don't believe me...). Maybe The Break-Up? Underwhelmed by lemons and lame gay jokes, but since my current favorite entertainment is watching other couples' petty disputes I may enjoy it.

Btw, Da Vinci is really crushing MI3. And RV is still going. Like I always say: de gustibus non disputandum est

They may listen to your calls but I doubt they are reading this...

2006-05-12T14:24:00.000-04:00

As the intelligence scandals being to pile-up (a scoop for the USA Today, wuhoo!), there are some wonderful tasty morsels that are impossible to resist.

The sweet smell of this quote from the NYT woke me up this morning...

"The man Mr. Goss first selected to become the C.I.A.'s executive director, Michael V. Kostiw, had to turn down the job when it surfaced in the news media that he had resigned from the agency in the 1980's after being caught shoplifting bacon."

See it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/12/washington/11cnd-foggo.html?hp&ex=1147492800&amp;en=7520856c0c14122e&ei=5094&partner=homepage

Too bad there's no Daily Show on Friday (they did a number on Rumsfeld the other day didn't they?)

I like your nurse's uniform, guy

2006-05-11T00:48:00.000-04:00

Schwartzman.

Brentwood Gardens. Monday.

Great hair. Sweet kicks. With sister, nephew, and niece.

They looked like a photo shoot for Vanity Fair or something.

Also, peep this Coachella write-up from a good friend of the PH: http://vinyledition.blogspot.com/2006/05/dispatch-from-coachella-part-one.html
http://vinyledition.blogspot.com/2006/05/dispatch-from-coachella-part-two.html

Finally, lame, predictable, annoying Palladino-finale of Gilmore (break'em up so you can get 'em back together again in next year's series finale---boooring. Only the appearance of Jan Levinson Gould was redeeming in a seriously REDACTED way).

However, one of junkie's top fans is dying to know what kind of breed Paul Anka is. Anybody know? Bearded collie mix?

---

Given the estimated MI3 $180M neg cost + $30M for Cruise on top + $55M of P&A globally, you're talking about needing a ~$350M WW gross plus home ent and TV in order to break even and that my friends will be tough to pull off after a $120M WW opening. Luckily for them, Poseidon looks godawful.

Would be even worse if the Scientologists weren't buying tickets by the truckload down at the Arclight in Hollywood (Defamer, Deadline Hollywood by Nikki Finke)

Do you have the "cheese"?

2006-05-08T14:25:00.000-04:00

- Moltisanti might if he knew that cheese is the latest junior high rage and is heroin laced powder.

- Priceless and spot-on OC convo about aderol, lipstick parties and lacrossetitutes made me wish I went to Montecito Prep. I cannot stop saying "obvi!"

- Coachella celeb sightings not fit for inclusion in the music-only post below: Sofia Coppola (exceedingly small and normal looking) along with the entire Coppola clan not Nicholas, but yes on Francis Ford Coppola. Seeing the whole family together and happy (despite the sun and Francis' being festooned in a fantastic pink shirt) made me think of Sofia's wedding to Spike Jonze and how pissed Francis must have been at her marrying him (although he is one of my faves) in a Godfather sort of way. Also got Kiefer Sutherland at the Bloc Party show.

- Cinco de Mayo: Santa Monica- panoply of low-wattage celebs. Two lame reality peeps: Dr. Will from Big Brother I (he told my friend, "well, you know I won a million dollars on a reality show.") and then Theo from Road Rules (I can confirm that he is a messy urinater). These two were paired off with the exceedingly thin-looking The Rock (handsome but with not handsome women) and Susan's Dr. Ron love interest from Desperate Housewives (Jay Harrington above - I had to make peace with him after someone in our party lobbed a beer bottle in his general direction). The Rock told us that our friend was very entertaining (she was if by entertaining he meant drunk). Dr. Will tried to buddy up the Rock. And Theo did the same with Housewives guy. Baron Davis showed up at the end of the night too. Oh yes, we lead the life.

- Denise Richards' planted story in US Weekly is lame. She's a stand-up midwestern gal with "good values" her friends say even though she snaps up her bff's ex-hubby. I love the quote where her friends impugn Locklear's character for hiring Charlie Sheen's divorce lawyer "there 100 million divorce lawyers to choose from, why did she choose that one?". Indeed, there must be slightly less than 100 million single men otherwise why would Denise choose Richie Sambora? I guess this time she's really leaving. When she gets drunk he'll be the wine.

- MI2 is $48M but that is below expectations and women hate the Cruise. This is undeniable. The tipping point for anti-Cruise is now.

- The Lakers lost. I love it. Where's all the Kobe can do it all and Phil is the best coach talk now? Red is smiling today.

- Brick and United 93 are still on my list despite fading box office.

- Web TV shows on MSN by Reveille are excited but only if they are good as The Office and REDACTED. Jim's list of office annoyances were the 2nd best bit of TV this week (OC convo in 3rd)

- First place goes to Stephen Colbert's White House Correspondents Dinner. Bold, courageous, hilarious. Shame on the NYT twice for getting fooled again and missing the Colbert story until the blog-o-sphere picked it up. Double lame. Check out the video here and laugh your ass off at the jokes and then yuk it up some more when you see the unsmiling faces in the crowd giving Colbert "a respectful silence."

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/04/29.html#a8104

All You Need Is Time

2006-05-08T13:42:00.000-04:00

Glad to see Kele and co again and the irony of the massive throngs singing "it's so cold in this house" when it quite clearly wasn't was not lost on him. I wish their new album had already come out but one of the new tunes sounded great. The "Bowie" influence of the new songs has me excited. Like really excited. Like Charlie Sheen with a high-speed connection and an Adult ID-verified password excited.

I love Sleater-Kinney and all, but I cannot understand why Bloc Party did not graduate to the main stage in '06.

Bloc Party was featured on OC this week. What a shitty arbitrary lame episode (with the exception of the frivolous trip to Montecito for girl talk with Hadley - obvi!), but next one seems even more ridiculous as they kill off Marissa.

Undoubtedly the best and most impressive show I saw all weekend: Editors

Started out to a half-full tent that swelled up. Brought energy, darkness, leg kicks, swirling guitars, emotion and totally won over the crowd. Sure, I was nearly converted prior to the show, but the newbies around me were flabbergasted by how good they were ("These guys are fucking awesome!"). Sure they are university boys from England and part of the growing Joy Division/Interpol Ian Curtis aping sound, but fruitless originality debates aside, their sound is powerful and moving. They won Coachella. Ask anyone who saw this performance.

Looks like young Dennis Quaid.

Sounds like a rockin' Dylan.

Hails from New York City, Washington DC and Philadelphia.

Wears a lovely summer suit most likely from Banana Republic.

Seems like an arrogant prick.

Is the frontman for the brittle uptempo energetic east coast rock and roll band: The Walkmen.

They are melodious and full of sunshine.

It's the Mamas and the Papas redux. The Magic Numbers.

But when you see him (and especially her) you know why they are usually depicted as an animated band.

Sad but true. They'd be bigger (figuratively) if they didn't all look like this.

"Forever Lost" is an almost perfect tune and they made for a nice contrast with Ted Leo's good-for-you loud dissonant diffident east coast rock.

The highlight of day one: Franz Ferdinand

And not just because of his pants. Which are great.

They let loose. Upped the tempo on several tunes.

Played plenty of old tunes.

I wish more people got on board - like Kaplan - with You Could Have It So Much Better, because it's got some great cuts.

They would make a great double-bill with Thin White Duke of the 70s. So much ambi-sexuality and nite-friendly rock and roll grooves. Me likey.

Two space aliens playing dance tunes to an overflowing tent in the desert on a Saturday night.

Was as cool as it sounds and looks.

Daft Punk playing my house. My house.

Of course, what the hell do they actually do up there? Just press buttons? It almost doesn't matter when you look like that.

---

What else:

Saturday: Enjoyed The Like. Intrigued but ultimately bored by String Quartet. Head Automatica was so KROQ and 17 year old boy lame rock. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah brought the energy but not quite as much fun live as on the record. TV on the Radio was good but I sort of lost my shit due to the heat so couldn't tell you too much about them. Wolfmother is the reincarnation of Sabbath and Zeppelin with cooler hair. Very entertaining. Lyrics Born sucked. Lady Sovreign intrigued. Duke Spirit disappointed. Heard Kanye <>. Depeche Mode...eh. Nine Black Alps no go.

Sunday: Madonna disappointed. Wolf Parade was most anticipated band perhaps, but tech difficulties crushed them. They sounded muddy but seemed like their heart was in the right place. Metric surprised and excited me. Really liked The Dears despite their overtly Moz-influenced genuflecting at the altar of The Smiths sound. Madonna was a diva. Wouldn't let anyone play in the other stages when sshe was on (except Mogwai) Played half of her set and sure she was energetic but despite the crowd wanting her so bad and wanting to be won over, she did not pull it off. A 30 minute set with Ray of Light as the highlight and no Holiday/Like A Prayer to speak of crushed the legions of fans who were crushed together to see her. Everbody! was not the old school tune Swedish girls pretending to be sanitation workers sleeping under a stage for a night came to see. She looked hot though. Damn. Go! Team brought the energy but their sound didn't work that well in the outside space and without the cheerleaders. Earlier, Mates of State didn't work for me. Too needy emo. I know they're Canadian, but still, couldn't get behind them.

Unquestionable standout perfs: Editors, Franz, Daft Punk

Missed so many that I wanted to see: Gnarls Barkley, Common, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, White Rose Movement, Giant Drag, Animal Collective, Deerhoof, Dungen, James Blunt (kidding!), and Scissor Sisters.

Go! On the count of three

2006-04-28T14:54:00.000-04:00

First Carl Weathers, then Adam Sandler...but whither Julie Bowen?

Pacino is in Oceans 13. So you know it'll be great right? Seriously, another actor under consideration who would have been better was...Sly Stallone. Yes, I have this on good authority from an inside source. I guess Julia Roberts is passing so she can focus on Broadway and having pity parties with Oprah (the unofficial queen of pity parties for America's leading ladies of TV - Aniston and Film - Roberts. If she gets Reese after some public failure, she will be protecting her future). The NYT's review of Julia's performance was great as Ben Brantley kept the window open for him to have a fling with Julia based on his "She's so beautiful and such a movie star! Oh, but she's bad in the play" review.

Michelle Rodriguez is in jail and probably loves it given her sexual proclivities.

Did you know the average person spends 138 hours a month watching TV and about 25 hours online? That's wild. (Source: Media Dynamics 2006).

While I love seeing a celebrated 19 year old Harvard undergrad getting taken down a peg (hey who doesn't?), the NYT's comparison of Kaavya to Barry Bonds seems a bit extreme (search for it on Google News your damn self).

--

Gilmore continues to disappoint. Predictable and lame. Where is the Luke of Season 3? When will Sherilyn Fenn's promiscuous past be brought up?

Loved the Sopranos hanging at the Viceroy and the gift bag swag expose. However, the timing seems amiss. Tony mentions the Notre Dame-Michigan game and Artie mentions "football season" but then Kingsley and Bacall mention the awards seasons and Bacall is jumped near site of the Golden Globes which occur in January. No awards shows occur in the Sep-Oct time frame which is when ND-Michigan always goes down. Unless...Tony is referring to hoops. Which would make no sense. Yes, you're right such a post belongs on a I hate David Chase website and not here lest I risk boring the dutiful PH readers with the minutaie of my musings on pop life. I wouldn't want that to happen to this site.

--
Celeb spottings- This week in courier font! : Went to Indian Film Festival at Arclight to check out this flick called Five (know the director. you should see his newer movie called Black Friday which is awesome in a Bloody Sunday kind of way) and while trying to negotiate two tickets to the sold out show nearly ran straight into a giant musclebound black wall incongruously wearing a Kangol hat. Actually, it wasn't a wall, it was Carl Weathers. I gave him a look that said, "Creed is a foot taller than Stallone and definitely got some extra cash for staying down for the 10 count in Rocky II, right?" And he nodded. Next up at Citizen Smith for dinner encountered the usual Hollywood assortment of vainglorious plastic beauty with the notable exception of a dude in the corner wearing a hat, a puffy ski vest, grey sweatpants and sneakers...Adam Sandler. Sandler and cute preggers wifey were on a double-date with Rob Schneider and some hot blondie, no doubt celebrating the cinematic achievement that is Benchwarmers. I met them ten years ago at a Spoons restaurant in Northern Cali, but didn't bring it up. Schneider is like 5 feet tall, of which 4 feet are just sideburns. Afterwards, we braved the post-US Weekly cover hype and went to The Dime hoping for the good DJ guy plus after Weathers and Sandler I was hoping to hit the Happy Gilmore trifecta with my longtime love Julie Bowen. Instead, we got weak hip-hop and a highly improbably pairing in the corner: uberfugly Kimberly Stewart with a bemused Billy Corgan. Neither one of them seemed to be having fun. Billy had a Holden Caufield style hat on but couldn't conceal his 6'4"-ish frame. Maybe Kimberly misses Talan and Billy misses C-Love. Anyhoozle, went to a musician-laden but celebrity-free party in Silverlake after that for purification purposes. Met a member of Sia's band plus other assorted musicians. Now you know all about my life. --Off to Coachella. Shame on them for scheduling so many of my favorite bands against one another (Common vs. Clap Your Hands! Yeah Yeah Yeahs vs. Editors - it's just not fair!).

I am excited to see new-to-me bands like The Duke Spirit. Giant Drag also intriguing. Always want to be a part of some magical moment where a small band makes the leap. I will try dutifully to be that guy, for you, the loyal reader. I am most exicted for Kanye and Editors mostly because I have seen all the big bands once at different shows.

Seeing rock/hip-hop/electronica for two days from noon to midnight in the desert in May seems will be a test of endurance and boyfriend-girlfriend relations. I hope we don't "Gerry up" the experience to paraphrase my favorite abstract Van Sant flick. I am the man now dog.

Kaplan - I owe you a call. Soon.

I ain't gonna play spin city

2006-04-25T13:39:00.000-04:00

This Sheen-Richards divorce is delicious. Certainly better than 2 and 1/2 Men and that Silverlake sex sitcom that Denise Richards flashed her thesp skills in for about 2 and 1/2 episodes prior to cancellation.

The exhibits are the best part.
Here are three worth sharing:

1. Charlie channeling the Apatow cancer email exchange of 2001

Charlie's wedding day physical photoshop editing

Charlie's misogynist phone messages with bonus points for unexpected racial slur! (all from Smoking Gun)

2. Denise Richards taking up with her best friend's ex-hubby - Richie Sambora - and galavanting all around the Malibu, the Valley and the 805.

3. Charlie's priceless, hilarious comment after seeing said photos. Funny enough that it almost redeems all that domestic abuse business but not funny enough to redeem his godawful TV show.

"Those two give love a bad name." (From Defamer)

You cannot make that up : http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/celebrity-divorce/charlie-sheens-ugly-messages-after-the-beep-169298.php

What the Helen of Troy?

2006-04-12T03:23:00.000-04:00

Bitch

(that's Kelly by the by, not Sabrina).

I don't care how little the female patrons of the gym are wearing, if Hoobastank comes on, I either leave the immediately or commit seppoku using my car keys and a medicine ball.

Thank You For Smoking - feckless and overrated. Not enough joker, too much heart. Not nearly enough bite. Oh, and Katie Holmes sucks. She's always and forever Joey Potter. Any role that asks her to do otherwise is doomed to failure.

After touring with Bryan Adams last year - and bragging on Joe Elliot's band website diary about how much they outdrew him - Def Leppard are on tour with Journey (with the soundalike, not Steve "the voice" Perry). VH1-Classic is sponsoring the tour. I would be excited except they (i) are playing the worst fucking venue in Southern California (Verizon Wireless Amphitheater) (ii) many other shitty outdoor suburban venues (including another Verizon Wireless Amphitheater) across the country and (iii) it isn't 1988.

Btw, did you know, yo, yo, yo Randy Jackson played bass on Journey's 1986 Raised On Radio, including Be Good To Yourself.

Maybe Teddy isn't such an idiot for dissing country girl Britt since it appears that Heide ("I really just love making out with people") puts out.
I agree with Briana, Sabrina has a supermodel face. And after being vanquished despite her ample B-cup boobs , Kelly "felt ill" didn't thank her. And then didn't support her! What a bitch.

What's the big hubbub with Moses Martin? It reminds me of Moses Malone and therefore I like it. He'll probably be able to say the word "four" relatively soon but I doubt he'll rebound as well. Also, it could be because I was in a wine-induced fog but did I dream that Gwynnie on Indie103 over the weekend playing Radiohead?

Why not borrow from another show that appears to be past its prime and Let Luke Be Luke on Gilmore Girls? It's so ridiculous for him to suddenly stop being the most thoughtful boyfriend ever. First, the Valentines Day fiasco and now the festering April-Lorelai problem. Bad, slack writing of late almost redeemed by Lorelai's new hairdo, which I totally dig and abundant air time for the #1 fan's favorite character, Paul Anka - the dog.

Speaking of shows-past-your-prime, the NYT apology for the Santos over Vinick win is a fucking joke. How emotionally unstable do they think fans of the show are? They thought it would be "too much" for fans if Santos lost and McGarry died? Patronizing, sanctimonious and out-of-touch...at least they are consistent.

Phantom of Coreleone story is a whopper. Guy stayed out of sight from age 25 to 73.

I want to see Brick.

Yo Mamma so poor Angelina Jolie adopted her!
Yo Mamma's breath so bad, you ain't black, she just breathed on you!
Man, the fat kid from East LA got clowned by big-funny Rodney.
But Robert from Torrance put him in his place, I don't care how big Wilmer's unit is.

New Yeah Yeah Yeahs...I like.

RIP Proof.

Bohemian Like Tainted Love (Warning: TV-MA)

2006-04-04T13:07:00.000-04:00

1. Two things I forgot to mention last time:
- One celeb sighting I forgot to mention: MTV's Suchin Pak with delightful red streaks in her hair at Toast in Hollywood last weekend.
- Indie103 fired Dicky Barrett for some radio bullshit (not saying call letters enough, being too political, being annoyed at playing new Morrissey) two weeks ago. An ignominous end for the only radio morning show I have ever enjoyed. Boo Indie, I don't love you and neither does Shorty.

2. Checked out the monthly mash-up party - Bootie LA - at The Echo in Echo Park (one of LA's legitimately urban areas) and truly enjoyed the skillful mashup work of Party Ben. He did a sweet version of Madonna Hung Up and Death Cab Soul Meets Body plus other stuff. They even had a gigantic black drag performer do Bohemian Like You with Tainted Love and much like this description sounds, it was appropriate. Other DJs included Paul V of Indie 103.

Despite all that, listening to exclusively mash-ups can get tiring after a while. Especially when you don't care for My Humps and really just want to listen to Hole. I'll tell you more after I re-listen to the Meet the Beastles Beasties-Beatles mashup CD I got from the event.

3. Strokes show turned awesome about 5 songs into the Strokes set when they played Last Night, the Universal Amphitheater went nuts and then Julian and Fabrizio FINALLY kicked it into high gear and the show took off. Old tunes - New York City Cops -, rare tunes - the B-side Hawaii - and new tunes - Vision Division - all sounded great. The set was this nifty 70s looking thing bathed in red light. Julian was hopping around and not too drunk. Last time I saw them they also played a strong set but this time was a truly blistering performance once they got past a few of the slower numbers from First Impressions.

Man, Room On Fire is a good album, I had forgotten.

Eagles of Death Metal were loud but not tuneful. The pounding drumbeat from the Queens of the Stone Age drummer guy led a whisk of promise to every song but that was quickly beaten out of it by awful guitar licks and truly cringe-worthy lyrics (eg. "I Want You So Hard, I Want You So Good")

4. Wonder Showzen is:
a. Sesame Street on acid.
b. TV-MA Sesame Street
c. Sesame Streets meets Aqua Teen Hunger Force
d. Not at all like fucking Sesame Street since the muppet characters swear and the little kids talk like cynical adults.
e. At times, hilarious.

5. Worth reiterating that the movie business changed dramatically yesterday as Day and Date Downloads became a reality.

Universal jumped the gun with their British announcement last week but this week MovieLink will now be offering Day and Date electronic Downloads that are burn-able to one extra device (not a DVD player though). So now, your online options are not just Google: Torrent and Good Night Good Luck but flip to MovieLink and download it for $20. It can't beat free, but it's less of a pain than going to the store. And priced this way, it won't cannibalize the rest of the windows.

The next revolution? Full-scale VOD bringing you the same offering for your television.

Oh yeah, and mobile pedophilia via MySpace for Mobile.

6. In addition being a very stylish globe-trotting visually arresting flick, I cannot shake all the cool clothes and sunglasses in Spielberg's Munich. I really bought into the terrorists as movie stars. Sideburns, shades, hats...it all worked.

7. LiLo nip slip a month ago at GM fashion show, then an unconventional ass slip at the Kids Choice awards over the weekend (enjoy the photos before PH gets its first "cease and desist" letter). With one more slip (vagslip?) we'll have a composite nude photo of Lohan.

8. FX is the "shit." Between Black.White (a.k.a. "race swap") and Thief, they utter the word shit every 2 minutes.

"Hey! We're not regular cable! We're FX! Now give us some awards or we'll start showing more Michael Chiklis' finely toned ass!" As if seeing The Commish engage in car sex isn't TV-MA-disturbing enough.

9. This week on Big Love: no more shots of Bill Paxton's naked ass.

Despite falling in love with Jeannie Tripplehorn as Barb (she's some sort of middle-aged male fantasy wife even by going for this polygamy thing, although why anyone would choose Chloe Sevigny or the ugly girl from Ed as their 2nd and 3rd hot wives is beyond me). But I can't get into this show mostly because Roman the villain and his clan of "prairie people" freak me out.

Somehow, I end up watching it hoping it'll turn into the Sopranos. Btw, Sopranos went all MBA this week with M&A discussions, profit-sharing, severance packages and Paulie Walnuts discussing EBITDA.

10. Chad Michael Murray is quite the Wlimington, NC lothario. This superfamous Tiger Beat pinup just keeps marrying chicks from One Tree Hill. Doesn't this guy want to take his show on the road? Knocking up an almost 18 year old extra? Nice. I'm sure he has a lovely career ahead of him playing 16 year old 5-foot tall high school kids with Milo Ventimiglia. Say what you will of his relationships with Rory, but at least Dean - Jared Padalecki (sp?) - was 6 feet tall.

11. Ryan Seacrest and Terri Hatcher: double ew.

12. This Chris Farley ad is all over LA billboards and now the internets. Disturbing.

Fear of Sleep

2006-03-31T14:02:00.000-05:00

1. More from the Hollywood big dicks file: Wilmer Valderrama is 8 inches and has taken down Love Hewitt, Lindsay Lohan and Mandy Moore on the record as well as Ashlee Simpson off the record (but he can't say because then Papa Joe will have him killed).

If you're playing the dick game at home (uh, that came out wrong), LiLo complained about Leto's manhood, but not about Willmer. I'm no logician but that suggests... either Leto > Valderrama or LiLho has uh- "tightened" up. Weight-loss related?

But don't take my word for it: http://www.howardstern.com/rundown.hs , http://bricksandstones.blogspot.com/2006/03/wilmer-on-howard-stern.html#links

2. The future of TV: very cool piece on the future of new media content that uses Lost as an archetype: http://www.cityofsound.com/blog/2006/03/why_lost_is_gen.html

3. Saw Inside Man earlier this week. I really liked it, but now feel foolish because the cool game to play after watching a heist flick like this is "spot the plot hole." That is, you can't just unabashedly enjoy the film unless you are a small-minded naif. So I won't indulge in the find the hole in the logic game that so many others enjoy playing. Movie wasn't perfect of course - Terence Blanchard's intrusive jazzy score reminded me of how much I hated his work on 25th Hour too even if the music is nice enough and I also didn't care for that annoying overly stylized Denzel storming the building close-up sequence - but it's an engrossing genre movie that demands your attention and has tons of local NY flavor and humor to boot. While acknowledging its position in the heist flick canon - namecheck to Dog Day Afternoon - it moves beyond it with the NYC flavor.

And since the internets are abuzz about it: the opening song is Chaiya Chaiya from the Hindi movie Dil Se about star-crossed lovers (Bollywood does it again). Incongruous position in the movie no matter how hard you try to connect it. Spike apparently explains on an iTunes podcast, but I can't be bothered to sift through it. Give me searchable text please.

4. Heists are all the rage these days as I also caught the new FX series Thief starring Andre Braugher and the dude who played Perry Smith in Capote (as well as a few others like 90210 alum Dina Meyer). Despite FX drama's penchant for killing characters through senseless car crashes (see Rescue Me), Thief was clearly reminscent of Michael Mann's work on the similarly titled "Thief" and of course, "Heat." I'm reserving judgment 'til I see more eps, but color me intrigued for now. I also like that it's only 6 episodes since I fear committment.

5. Britt can do so much better than Teddy. But I know they'll get together eventually, probably post-show.

6. After all the Save Our Bluths bluster and the Showtime flirtation, Arrested Development was finally killed by its creator, Mitch Hurwitz.

The whiny Hurwitz claimed he didn't have the energy to keep it going which represents a total betrayal of all the people who fought to save the show the last two seasons, and even those insidious "in the biz" characters who made the Showtime deal possible.

So, fuck you Mitch Hurwitz you lazy piece of shit.

7. Marissa is really on the skids these days. She's turning into an alcoholic coke-addicted slut.

All she needs to do now is launch an acting career, get an eating disorder and sleep with Jordan Catalano to become a legit underage starlet. She even got rebuffed for underage drinking last night at the Bait Shop! LiLo should sue for slander!

8. This week's SI features 20 People to Watch in MLB. Anna Benson (see photo above) - wife of Kris Benson - is prominently featured (as is a good friend of PH right below her for the Oakland A's. Hot laptop F-Troop!) but then today's news indicates that she and husband pitcher Kris are splitsville since he apparently cheated on her with one of her friends (courtesy: BricksAndStones). Which means three things: 1) In the 3 weeks since they put this piece together Kris apparently got a hankering for some spring training tail 2) Her tenuous position in SI's article is now completely unwarranted and finally 3) If she holds true to her promise made on Howard Stern last year, Miggy Tejada and co. should get ready for some angry sex since Anna B promised to "sleep with every guy on the team" if she caught her hubby cheating.

What's that? I think I just heard Sidney Ponson put down his Jack Daniels long enough to get in shape for the team again...

Btw Anna, if the Orioles don't oblige, I hear the Duke lacrosse team has a relatively open schedule these days...

9. Another light week celeb-wise. Spied a goatteed Barry Pepper really hustling through a crosswalk in front of me in Brentwood yesterday afternoon as if he had just killed a Mexican laborer. He's underrated: 61, Private Ryan, Melquiades Estrada etc.

10. This new game promoted by LivePlanet called PhoneTag sounds really cool. Mix of location-based services and MySpace and Capture the Flag. Check it:http://www.liveplanet.com/projects.asp

11. Subject by Strokes. Going to see them along with Eagles of Death Metal tonight. I hate going to Citywalk so I'm sure I'll be amped up when I get there to buy my $7 beer. I hope F. Moretti brings it because the new album has some killer percussion moments. Naturally, I will keep eyes peeled for Fabrizio's girlfriend.

Let's go George Mason!

You don't need this disease

2006-03-27T21:11:00.000-05:00

This week's obsession: Editors - appearing at Coachella and tunesmiths behind the haunting, rocking, powerful and awesome "Munich" (yes in the movie too).

Strangely similar one-word titles for most of their album, but despite that they have a dense, brooding sound that harkens back to Boy-era U2 at times and also recalls Interpol (even beyond the superficial vocal resemblance to the hatted New Yorkers and even Ian Curtis before them).

--

I am 100% supporting the Vinick presidential campaign. Since the West Wing is ending for good in May, why not end the sanctimonious liberal fantasy and come back to earth by having the Republican win. Sadly, even Vinick is a sanctimonious liberal fantasy of a Republican Senator from California. Unplug from the Matrix please.

Still, I am gripped by the weekly visits inside the campaign war rooms. But tremendously ungripped by anything having to do with Toby. Who should have committed suicide many episodes ago (oh wait, he's doing it for the kids).

Gee, wonder what next week's surprise twist with Leo is.

--

The Belle and Sebastian show was a gay time in the old (and perhaps new) sense of the word. Based on my highly credible visible inspection every one of the 15 or so balcony dancers were limp wristed. I don't mean that in a pejorative way, I mean they literally danced with limp wrists. Not sure what that means, but I was also not sure what lead singer Stuart Murdoch meant when he said anything in that crazy thick Glasgow accent of his.

If I were high, outside in the sun, and sprawled on a blanket with a giant cookie then I think I would have enjoyed the B&S show more. I did enjoy the Life Pursuit stuff they did, but they didn't rock enough for me as a live band. Despite all that, they do have a highly entertaining following sartorially speaking - men wearing cardigans, fancy eyeglasses and breathlessly cool footwear.

Given their non-headlining status, the deck was Stacked and Crooked against my favorite Vancouver supergroup - The New Pornographers. While Caldwell ably filled in for Neko Case, there is only one Neko (well, two if you go the homonym route and count Nico). Nevertheless, they held it down and did a bang up job of performing Spanish Techno and an especially good version of The Bleeding Heart Show.

---
Light celebrity week given a side-trip out of town. Only caught former NYPD Blue star (and first to bare her side nipple on the show) Sharon Lawrence at LAX (the airport).

I believe the latest Ted Casablanca Pixie-Mixie rumors are about Lindsay Lohan. LiLo's g-on-g kissing amidst nose candy sessions is too cliched not to be true.

The BSG is ridiculous for many reasons, add this to the mix: claiming Kristin Cavallari > Jessican Simpson on purely superficial terms.

8th and Ocean's Sabrina needs to face facts: i) Her sister is a bitch ii) She is the PERFECT next spokesperson for ProActiv.

In the zeitgeist right now: South Park's Parker and Stone. This Chef thing has brought them back to center stage 9 years after launch and 7 years after the movie. http://www.hiphopmusic.com/best_of_youtube/2006/03/south_park_the_return_of_chef.html
---

Special shout-out to the Dallas, TX fan-base of the PH. When I finally track down DJ Stevie, I'll let you guys know...

In the meantime, let's all rush out and download TapesNTapes and new Yeah Yeah Yeahs and meet back here to discuss later in the week before we lose our Pitchfork frequent reader status.

The Bleeding Heart Show

2006-03-17T15:57:00.000-05:00

Quickly:

1. Nate Corddry is fast-becoming my fave DailyShow correspondent. Normally, I dramatically lose interest in the segments, but his "hunting trip" last week and the "code for unlimited ammo" bit were perfect. Plus, he looks like he's 11 years old.

2. I am loving Sportsline's online NCAA coverage except for that pesky blackout restriction and the 30 second delay vs. the TV.

3. Through The Fire on ESPN was good watching esp. the older brother parts that turned my apartment misty but i) every inner-city basketball drama now feels like Hoop Dreams retread ii) Telfair was good but not that incredible and his 9ppg, 3rpg, 4apg NBA stats are not that surprising.

4. Clooney continues to stay in the news by giving away his giftbag for charity (I'll take 4 nights at Halekulani in Honolulu please) and standing up to self-anointed liberal spokeswoman Ariana Huffington and her HuffPo.

5. Endeavor may merge with UTA. Agents will be fired. Blood runs in Bev Hills. (Source: Defamer)

6. Eager to see the New Pornographers and Belle and Sebastian on Saturday. You - more eager to stop hearing 'bout New Pornographers.

7. Last week's hottub OC opening with Seth, Summer and Marissa was overwhelming. And apparently Seth - your geeky standin - felt the same way. Otherwise, disappointed with the last two episodes. Sloppy and unrealistic. Only enjoyed the Foreigner cover band and seeing Thirteen's Nikki Reed.

8. So Tom Cruise got a South Park re-run killed. For now, that's believable.

MI3 > South Park.

After the demon spawn's birth and other increasingly erratic behavior, may not be true.

Chef also quit because he is a Scientologist, but foolish because he has no career anymore and will die soon.

Hayes in South Park > Hayes after South Park/Hayes dying.

9. Ok, I've officially stayed at work long enough to justify leaving.

Happy St. Patrick's Day (even if you're gay)!

Fuckthatshit

2006-03-14T18:37:00.000-05:00

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a crock. The NYT says that people used to be skeptical (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/14/nyregion/14rock.html) and that's accurate because by now the skeptical have all concluded that it's a lame irrelevant entirely un-rock and roll affair done for marketing and money and institutions. So fuck that.

This year is noteworthy because a band finally agreed with this sentiment although not in the most eloquent terms possible. Witness, The Sex Pistols note on their website which Rolling Stone's Jann Wenner (speaking of unspeakably lame irrelevant institutions sucking at the teat of the industry...) read aloud at the formal "wedding"-like affair (NYT descrip).

Lovely.

I would like to hear why Tourista disagrees.
----

More from the bile duct: Annie Proulx's sour grapes rant about Brokeback not stemming the rose at the Oscars:http://books.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,1727309,00.html

Just because you acknowledge your sour grapes does not mean the grapes are sweet. Self-knowledge alone is not absolution.

---

I've read that US Weekly is going to stop writing about Paris Hilton. They will continue to publish her photos, but no more stories about her. First Lloyd Grove, and now Janice Min. Unbelievable.

Not just because we share initials with PH, but because we are in deep admiration and awe of her abilities (media dexterity in particular) this junkie cannot wait to see how Paris responds. A guest column with Celebrity Weekly? Fulfill a promise to take cellphone pictures of herself suggestively fondling Janice Min's unborn child? Exclusive public nudity photos sold to OK!? A "lucky reader gets to fuck me" contest with In Touch? I can't wait.

---
Kristin Cavallari is turning a shared pizza and a chaste sleepover(!?) in Westwood with Nick Lachey into some serious pub for her neither cute nor talented self (her UPN show is already cancelled). I'm impressed. She's doing more with less compared to Paris, although she did turn down a role in an upcoming Al Pacino flick.

Actually, that may be more evidence of her smarts (Two For The Money anyone?).

---

Not so impressed with 8th and Ocean, the would-be Miami-set Laguna Beach with models. Predictably, the models lack personality and the loss of the high school setting crushes the relatability factor.

Also, Britt is not hot, but I do want to save Sabrina. Reading her MySpace profile confirms this. Kelly sucks. Whattabitch.

---

Haven't figured out the new MGM yet. I guess they are going to be a rent-a-system distributor for the disenfranchised like the Weinstein Brothers. I wonder if they will make as much dreck as the old new MGM did or whether they will push to develop new franchise properties (Sleepover 2!).

NBCU likes chicks and therefore bought iVillage and Gurl.com but will replace Stacey Snider with one (or two?) highly competent dudes(cheers).

This Brad Grey-Pellicano connection thing is more great pub for Paramount of course (more NYT although I'm now too lazy to link) is a great Player-esque David Kahane story but is almost laughably cliched: a powerhungry Hollywood bigshot eager to stay on top, a shady PI (who even dumps a dead fish on a getting-too-close-to-the-truth reporter), a scorned, dumped and duped actress, and then there's the Hollywood leading man who bravely comes forward...the sympathetic heartthrob, Garry Shandling. Hey now!

Btw, color me excited for Hollywood reprisals of Dallas (J Lo is back!) and Welcome Back Kotter starring Ice Cube (get ready for the 2nd rap remix of the titular song. Is Mase still available?)

---

It's addictive, it's surprising, but ultimately not as successful as years past...The Sopranos.

Unsurprising that the show would be less successful in Season 6, it's really about attrition. Also, they lost their hottest cast member last year. Despite the ultra-rejuvenated Edie Falco and the sexed up Jamie Lynn Singleagain, I hate the fucking shrink scenes. More action, more strategizing and more family squabbles, that's the stuff.

---

Hawaii is a lovely place. Cheers (or should I say "arigato") to the Moana Surfrider for excelling in the ultratouristy commercial hub that is Waikiki.

They could use Brad Pitt's help in upgrading the architecture in Honolulu. If he's not available perhaps George Kaplan could go.

---

If you read about Natalie Portman (nee Herschlag) in Vanity Fair, you'll fall in love with all over again like you did the first time (The Professional if you're a really dirty old man or Beautiful Girls if you're just a standard dirty old man like addict). Article focuses on how many older men - Mike Nichols, Alan Dershowitz, Joel Silver to name a few - absolutely adore her, but in a totally legit platonic father figure sort of way of course... Hard to find a more brazenly sycophantic profile that skips any mention of how she pissed of her Orthodox Israeli friends by making out on a holy site.

Watch out NP or Sharon Stone will deploy her new nudity diplomacy to frighten you and others who dare to challenge Israel. Or her Oscar hairdo. Not even your friend Alan Dershowitz can save you. (Defamer has it here: http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/sharon-stone/sharon-stone-talks-about-peace-her-naked-body-and-jews-in-her-employ-160429.php )

Despite all that, I loved the Portman rap video on SNL's now requisite digital short bit and I predict BI2 (no longer Risk Addiction) will be a big hit even if no one cops to watching it. That "leaked" trailer was a good ole' fashioned "only the sexy parts" clipfest that reminded me of teenage sleepovers with a friend's Dad's stash and a remote control.

Maybe I'll watch it in a sleeping bag...

---

"Is your invention...a stick?"

"No, it's a wand!"

American Inventors looks promising.

---

Like all the cognoscenti and the robots from 1984, I like UConn to win it all.

It's Hard Being A Pimp....I would know

2006-03-07T03:10:00.000-05:00

- First things first. Like my man Willibuns and Jon Stewart himself ("I kid because I envy"), I am majorly man-crushing on Mr. Clooney today. I even watched his backstage interview and give-take with Ted Casablanca. Swoon.

-Let's see, a movie about LA, featuring a multi-ethnic cast of about 200 stars, takes the stock liberal stance on passive racism seeping through the corrupt system and society. And it won. What a surprise. There's so much LA self-congratulation for this flick, its writer and its stars, it's hard to escape and a bit sickening.

I wouldn't call it "stunning" like Variety or NYT since MovieCityNews had this pick awhile ago and all the Crash supporters have been about as subtle as the movie in declaring their undying love for it.

At its core, Crash is really a rip-off of Ghostbusters 2 in which you will recall a still-frisky Sigourney Weaver , Bill Murray and Dan Ackroyd (!) battle an evil pink ooze that lurks under the city of New York and spreads ill wil throughout the thriving metropolis.

Paul Haggis has had quite a back-to-back showing with Million Dollar Baby and now this.

Still, I had it wrong and for that, I apologize. I needed to be more cynical.

- People think Stewart was lame. Judge for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-A986cc1Ps

I disagree. He was neutered in the first place doing this show and he did the best he could while still allowing for a repeat invite. If Jennifer Garner had fallen down and if Tom Hanks had truly sworn at Bill Conti for playing the Forrest Gump theme, then we'd be even happier.

Defamer has me covered here and here.

Other takes:
-Memoirs of a Geisha was apparently the best-looking movie as it won all the visual awards and I cannot wait for the video box declaring it a "sumptuous visual feast!"

-Is it me or did many of the white folks onstage look orange? Not surprising that Will Smith looked orange too (btw, is it really true that he has a Andre Kirilenko-like arrangement with Jada?)

- How many people had to be reminded that rising star Steve Carrell was like the 4th male lead from Anchorman with Will Ferrell?

-If you cover your right eye with your hand and stare at her...Charlize Theron's bow still obscures your vision.

-Morgan Freeman wore an ascot. No joke here, just observing.

- Phillip Seymour Hoffman chickened out. He was supposed to be a dog, but cried like a pussy.

-The French Penguin dudes were really nerdy. I would have preferred to see the Murderball guys up there ramming each other with tricked out wheelchairs. They probably enjoyed the Three 6 Mafia.

She's Like A Detuned Radio

2006-03-02T01:50:00.000-05:00

Hey

I'm buzzing like a fridge today

Madge at Coachella. I am excited for the polarizing response of the Coachell-ans. What old-school track will she reinvent in the Sahara tent? I'm going with Burnin' Up.

Chris Masterson and Rider Strong idling in the upstairs bar at Geisha House last Friday just prior to all hell breaking loose when the sprinkler system triggered.

Lindsay Lohan's notches on the bedpost are beginning to rival the indomitable Paris Hilton. - Leto/Levine/Valderrama...her deep infatuation with Jason Lewis- and now the Flying Tomato - Shaun White? She should give Leto another crack at "squeezing into her Jimmy Choos" now that she's all loosened up.

My Mom was visiting this weekend and if I rattled off all the men that Lohan has slept with, she would have said: "I don't like that. She gives away her sex for free". Ah, indeed.

Still, with Lohan's celebrity-heavy track record, you don't get that same magical sense of possibility that you do with Paris Hilton. It honestly seems that if you get within a whiff of Paris' fishy place, you've got a shot, a feint here, a smile there, an arm touch and boom you've suddenly been the same place as Tom Sizemore and Chad Michael Murray. Sleazy internet porn hustlers, sleazy junkie actors, sleazy Australian Idol winners, they all had their way...so you can you.

Graydon Carter says that Paris Hilton will not be allowed to his Oscar party. Probably because she's more famous and influential than he is. I cannot take him seriously with that hair.

Snider leaving Uni for D'works is another one of these deep inside baseball stories that gets more press than it deserves. But I guess less time spent on digital cinema and video iPods and more time on weekend reads and second act problems as Spielberg's go-to-guy is appealing.
---

Film Independent's IFP awards today...Sarah Silverman was hilarious. Tons of stars. Funny songs. Matt Dillon being arrogant. Crash winning too many awards. Otherwise, good times since I actually vote for these awards

Duke/UNC on right now. Man, Duke girls are nasty. The UNC girls they keep showing in the bar are way hotter. I hope JR goes off-gothic to get his kicks.

Sure, the Oscars are a big deal - they fucking snarled traffic today that's for sure - but when you look at the commerce they generate versus the entire movie biz, it's not that big. This year, it is well-publicized that none of the 5 best pictures have grossed over $100M and it's unlikely they'll get there. Yeah, declining box office is part of that but a big part of it is that the films are smaller. That's what everyone means when they say that "Brokeback doesn't feel like a Best Picture." None of them fit that epic, big, sweeping Titanic, Godfather, Gandhi archetype, but that's no longer the standard.

Ok, Oscar picks:
I like Clooney over Giamatti in the only tight race right now. I like Huffman to upset Witherspoon. I like Hoffman - and I expect to bark his acceptance speech as mandated by his childhood agreement with Bennett Miller and Futterman - and I like Ang Lee and Brokeback to win although the surging Crash concerns me. It was amusing to see two producers of the movie who are suing each other onstage together today accepting an award at the IFP Spirit Awards. Good times.

I am rooting for Squid and the Whale to win screenplay and I know Brokeback will win adapted. I think Good Night and Good Luck could win cinematography and I mostly the enjoyed the straightforward simple movie but Brokeback has that one sewn up.

I hope Stewart is funny, but he probably cannot top Silverman who did her vag stuff in the first half-hour - bravo Sarah!

--

Renewed my subscription to the Nation and the first cover I get is about Princeton's rightward tilt. Prof. Robert George the Civil Liberties prof with tremendous following is the cover subject. Actually, story disappointed me. It's all about impugning George by association with nastier conservatives and improper funding sources and stuff. It was alarmingly like many of the right-wing's less thoughtful harangues on Clinton. Disappointing.

----

Separated At Birth?

2006-02-19T14:51:00.000-05:00

Nola Rice is Mike Waters. Now River had great hair.

Haven’t caught a single minute of Olympic coverage. Bar drive-bys should not count. I did catch Why We Fight though. I’m sure that’s supposed to say something but it really doesn’t.

Saw Caché last night. It’s imbued with the same liberal moral preachiness as Syriana, perhaps not as heavy-handed as the latter, but it’s so much more dense and layered that it renders Gaghan amateurish, in this amateur's opinion.

The joke is always on us. Both Haneke and Gaghan condemn the disapproving left that sits in smug, self righteous disapproval through their equally ambitious projects, but Haneke leaps past the merely political to attack the visual medium itself. And his analysis seems striking. The long stationary shots, obligatory French TV show, and footage of Midde East conflict made me examine the way I form my personal conscience. Decompression on a Saturday night. Haneke could be saying what Junkie attempted in his Buenos Aires mission statement: that film/TV has ascended to the primary purveyor of cultural mythology. Our real world and mediated experiences come together. It’s the realization of Gerbner’s cultivation analysis. Caché is that good.

I’ve been listening to so much Franz lately. I used to be turned off by the almost thirty-something, backwards t-shirt wearing kids. You know who you are. Now I can’t get enough of the eponymous album. Darts of Pleasure evokes Peter Murphy, brilliant.

Despite impending domestic discord I’m pulling for Santino. Like Mr. Kaplan he’s oft-misunderstood. He overplays his roles rather severely to be sure, but Daniel is dull and Chloe’s too dowdy. Could you imagine Season Two's spin-off? Project Daniel? He examines the subtleties of gymnastics and dance in his ethereal designs? So fetch. But he's gonna win. The producers can't keep Santino alive forever.

Do not fret Junkie. The rest of the crew has been doing the corporate grind. But you would never be your fucking khakis.

I Spy

2006-02-16T01:52:00.000-05:00

Celebrity spotting edition:

From the PH spies:

West Hollywood - Urth Caffe, daytime, two weeks ago: Zach Braff dining alfresco sans Mandy Moore.

Boston - Armani Cafe, Valentine's Day: Tom Brady - yes he of pocket square and three Super Bowl ring fame - dining with.....(drumrolls people)....Bob Kraft. Two questions from the PH spies: 1) Guess Tom has given Bridge the ol' heave-ho. But surely he'd trade her in for something younger? Not his near-septageniarian boss' boss? Speaking of which, where was the first lady of the Pats, Mrs. Kraft? So many questions...

And from this junkie

Hollywood - Pace in Laurel Canyon, day after Valentine's Day: a veritable cavalcade of celbrity. Appearing in chronological order:

- Max Perlich (Drugstore Cowboy) looking exactly as he does in the photo. Yes, he could totally play Ad-Rock in a Beastie biopic except that Ad-rock has acting credits (shit, they were even in the same movie once!).

- Short built and youthful-looking Sheryl Crow in rectangular eyeglasses appeared first with this frumpy old-blonde woman. They were soon joined by pouty-lipped Meg Ryan and then it became clearer upon closer inspection when we were seated that the frumpy blonde-woman was none other than Rambling Rosie herself Laura Dern. Maybe they discussed Billy Bob, Lance and Dennis? Or Meg's new Chinese baby? Couldn't tell.

- On the way out encountered extremely tiny and surprisingly cute (hey, she paid for the best) homewrecker Tori Spelling and her husband-to-be (once Daddy makes him sign a prenup) Dean McDermott. Dean had great hair. I am jealous.

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- Luke acting not very thoughtful and quite un-Luke-like on Gilmore Girls this week.
- Never looked forward to Daily Show more than this past Monday. Destabilizing Palestinian Gov't, Brownie taking the stand in Congress, and oh yeah, Dick Cheney shooting his buddy in forty different places...
- Olympics are dull. I want hockey. Everyone else can go home.
- I endorse Korneiser in the MNF booth. Did I say that already?
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What's wrong with you people?

2006-02-13T03:13:00.000-05:00

This show is fucking hilarious and now it's over.

Not only that, it died an ignominious death at the hands of Fox TV.

Peter Liquori - what is the deal with burying all four of the remaining episodes on a Friday night against the opening ceremonies of the Olympics?

Sure, Showtime or ABC may pick it up, but this kind of four-epi afterthought burial was hardly inspiring.

The finale four episodes were the usual whizbang laugh-a-minute combo of political jokes, inappropriately bawdy innuendos and celebrity cameos (this week: a sexed up Justine Bateman ! and a still-kicking William Hung and the William Hung Jury!)

Anyway, the rest of America, I blame you.

Now go back to watching American Idol. Maybe next year, they'll give Grammys to all those who tried out since twice as many of you watched American Idol compared to the Grammys. This has now put me in the odd position of defending the Grammys even though my favorite band won Album of the Year for what was one of their weakest releases ever. But hey, at least NARAS did nominate the Arcade Fire this year.

I've had enough. I'm off to go hunting with Dick Cheney...